


I Don't Know Where; I Don't Know When

by Clever_Girl_22



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Gen, One Big Happy Family, Pre-Season/Series 07, Reunions, Self-Reflection, Series Finale, Swearing, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24407488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clever_Girl_22/pseuds/Clever_Girl_22
Summary: With the series coming to its final mission, I think we all can agree that we need some solid and positive closure. Each agent will get their own chapter of reflection, leaving us with one more (but hopefully not final) goodbye.Happy Series Finale!
Relationships: Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie/Yo Yo Rodriguez, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59





	1. The Secret of Life

**Author's Note:**

> Now that they have the ability to time-travel, the remaining agents from S.H.I.E.L.D decide to take turns picking important destinations; today so happens to be Coulson's turn.
> 
> Happy Season Seven Premiere!

"Where are we even going?"

Daisy sat on top of a counter, swinging her legs casually. Around her, the rest of her teammates stood or sat in the kitchen of a suburban ranch. Currently, they were located a few miles off of Brooklyn.

"We're going to visit a friend of mine." Coulson said with a sly smile. 

May sighed. When they were able to create the current LMD for Coulson, they had been able to inject his original personality and memories. The replicate still someone how managed to make her smile; the whole thing was, she had decided, was unnerving. 

"Who do you even know in 1951, sir?" Daisy continued.

She hopped off the counter and trailed her director as he went out the front door, the rest of the agents following in tow. The LMD had thrown on a tan overcoat and blueish hat--in fact, they all were dressed in similar fashion to 'blend in' as Coulson had said, although Daisy couldn't help but feel he just wanted to play dress up for this time period.

"Oh, just someone famous." He chirped.

Jemma giggled softly as her husband rolled her eyes.

"This is just the fan-boy talking in him." Fitz mumbled.

Jemma gave him a playful swat to the chest.

"You have no right to talk, Mr. 'I need to go to 1990's Gallifrey One convention'. Don't be jealous!" She teased.

Fitz shrugged as they began piling into the backseat of a red 1950 Willys 473. The station wagon had two back rows, so the team (minus Coulson and May) squeezed in next to each other.

"All I'm saying is that we take turns." He replied.

Yo Yo rolled her eyes.

"We have been taking turns; you just happen to be bad at drawing straws." He retorted.

"Yeah, relax Turbo," Mack said, "You'll get your turn after Coulson."

The LMD revved up the engine and took off out of the driveway, the radio cranked up and the windows down. 

"Crap, we forgot to lock up." Mack grumbled.

"Relax, it's the 50's," Daisy replied, "People left their doors unlocked at night. Besides, nobody is going to know how to even use our tech."

She had a point; the last idiots who tried to steal their stuff almost ended up vaporizing themselves. Coulson took a sharp turn, causing everyone in the back rows to squish to the right. A chorus or groans followed.

"We''ll be there in forty minutes!" He called as he reached to change the radio station.

Daisy could distinguish the singer's voice as Sinatra--it sounded like "Night After Night", potentially.  
She smiled; it had been a good few months. The team had found Fitz in 2090 again and, after catching him up, had been traveling time to avoid the chronicons from their Prime Time. Along the way, they had decided to take turns picking timelines to stop at. For example, Jemma's turn was to show Fitz their wedding; Mack and Yo Yo had chosen their first date (without tactic gear on) in Brazil. Currently, it was Coulson's turn and it was no surprise to everyone that he picked someone old and boring. Daisy felt Jemma's bony elbow stab her ribs.

"So sorry!" She squeaked.

And cramped. Coulson had managed to pick something very, very cramped. But, it was vintage as he preferred it to be called) and admittedly a nice change of style instead of merely revisiting old memories. Originally, Daisy and the others assumed they were going to visit family of Coulson's, but may denied it. However, she--per usual--didn't indulge them with any clear answers. Apparently this was meant to be a surprise. 

They pulled up to a gas station halfway through the ride.

"I'll be back; just need to confirm something." Coulson said as he got out of the car.

The team watched him jog into the store and purchase a bottle of Bourbon, chatting away with the store clerk.

"Huh, he never drinks." Yo Yo commented, amused.

He hurried back and got in, pulling the car swiftly out of the parking lot and back onto the main road. Daisy noticed a grind spreading across his face. He clearly wasn't telling them something. Their journey continued for another twenty minutes and was filled with odd bits of chatter and Coulson excitedly pointing out historic building and streets. The team watched MAy nodded with legitimate enthusiasm to his chatter. The whole ride perplexed Daisy in a pleasant way.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the car pulled up to the front of a bustling apartment stretch. 

"Ta-da!" Coulson said with his usual awkward flair.

The agents blinked, confused.

"Just wait and see." May explained, following Coulson up the entrance steps. 

Daisy scowled; May always knew what was going on. It was like her own super power. They followed Coulson through the front door and up to the third level of the building, where they stopped at a modest-looking apartment door. 

"Here we go." Coulson said excitedly.

He gave three brisk taps with the door knocker and stood back.

"Coming!" A woman's voice called from the other end.

The door clicked open and a stunning brunette stood before them, dressed in a casual pantsuit. She was shorter than Coulson by a good three inches, but her piercing gaze alone made seem like a giant.

"Who are you?" She asked, a hint of distrust in her voice.

"I'm here to see your husband, ma'am." Coulson answered.

The woman looked disgruntled.

"You better not be some new SHIELD goons." SHe warned, stepping aside to let them in.

Coulson and the rest took off their coats and hung them up.

"Actually, we are, just not the ones you might be thinking of" He replied.

The woman led them into a modest living room and offered them tea, which everyone except Fitz and Simmons declined. 

"I'll go grab him; he's always in his office nowadays." The woman explained before heading out of the room.

The agents sat patiently until she returned.

"You did not bring us where I think you did!" Jemma was whispering excitedly, "I know that woman--how did you find them?"

Fitz looked as if he had just solved the world's hardest equation; his mouth and eyes were wide open in realization.

"Can I help you?"

Captain Steve Rogers stood in the hallway, towering over his wife--the infamous Peggy Carter. After a beat, the Avenger realized who was visiting him.

"Phil?"

"Steve."

Coulson reached out for a handshake, but Steve Rogers sidestepped it and gave the LMD a bone-crushing hug.

"How are you even here?" Steve asked, befuddled.

Last time he had seen the agent, he was bleeding out from a mad god's scepter. Now, he was standing in his living room parlor. COulson shrugged and smiled.

"Same way your here." He replied.

Both Steve and Peggy groanned.

"So SHIELD is using time-travel now?" He asked.

May shook her head.

"SHIELD doesn't exactly exist anymore; we're on the run from another threat and thought about passing by." She explained.

She opted out on not telling the famous pair that the original Coulson was dead and this was an android standing before them. The rest of the agents were still in a state of awe. Daisy smirked; of course Coulson would use his turn to visit his man-crush. 

"Well, we were just about to have dinner, so you're welcome to join us." Peggy decided, going into the kitchen.

She looked as if a tremendous weight had been lifted up off her shoulders when Steve had determined who they were; obviously, they had regular unwanted visitors. The agents sat down to the large table as Peggy plated extra dishes. She had made chicken pot-pie, which Coulson then pointed out in an excited whisper that it 'was Steve's favorite dish'. Daisy couldn't help but chuckle at the nerd.

"So, Captain America now works at an office job?" Daisy asked between bites of food.

Yo Yo sniggered as Mack rolled his eyes. Steve smiled, abashed.

"Well, not exactly," He explained, "I'm technically dead in this timeline, so the original Steve Rogers is still in permafrost in the Arctic right now. When I left our Prime TIme, I played it off as if I had already come back from the crash."

"Steve also told me what happens in the future, especially in 2023." Peggy added, "Also, he's explained to me the science that Howard's boy used to create the time-traveling abilities. It was a heavy subject."

"I'm terribly sorry, but don't you marry a Mr. Daniel Sousa from the SSR?" Jemma interrupted.

Peggy shook her head.

"When Steve came back to 1951, he created a new timeline, meaning out there a different version of me probably married Sousa, but in this reality I married Steve." She explained.

FItz turned to Steve, eyes wide.

"So you created an alternate reality?" He asked.

Steve laughed.

"I'm not the first one to do; that bastard Loki caused quite a bit of trouble for use when we were trying to deal with Thanos' actions. He caused his own time rift as well."

"But, Mrs. Carter," Mack then asked, "Why are you anti-SHIELD? I thought you founded the organization?"

Peggy sighed, "I did, but too many people were harassing Steve to come back and work and neither of us wanted that. So, I resigned. This isn't our only home; we have a handful of more discrete locations to live at in case people become too nosey."

Steve took her hand.

"We both made sacrifices, but we loved each other enough that even when time stood in our way we made it work. So, the small things are endurable." He said in a sagely tone and placing a kiss on his wife's forehead.

No one understood that more than these agents from SHIELD; they had been through almost a decade of heartache together. Yet, among the trials and tribulations, they had experienced joy together as a team, as a family. The rest of the evening passed pleasently, with Steve and Peggy telling stories of their time and SHIELD and the others joining in . Coulson proposed a toast with the whiskey he had bought and the rest of the night was spemt in content discussion. Daisy smiled. The LMD captured Coulson's childlike wonder perfectly; it made her ache a little to have the real one back.

Late in the night, Coulson and his team decided to head back to base. Before leaving, Steve handed the other man a picture.

"Would you mind signing it, sir?"

It was a picture of Coulson and Steve on a helicarrier in 2012, both where holding a thumbs-up sign and smiling.

"You kept it?" Coulson asked, immediately remembering himself pestering the Avenger for a photo and his own signature.

Steve Rogers grinned.

"You were a bit of a hero yourself to me, you just never knew it." He replied.

Dasiy and May caught each other's eyes; they could have sworn tears were forming in the agent's eyes.

"Thanks, Captain." Coulson replied.

He beammed, signing the picture with as much modest flare as he could muster. They had one last handshake. It felt good to say goodbye properly.

"Where will you be off to next?" Peggy asked, leaning against her husband, who put an arm around her shoulder.

"We got some more stops to make, gut eventually, somewhere nice. Perhaps a beach or a tropical island." Coulson replied with a. wryly smile.

Daisy grinned as the group left and piled back into the station wagon.

Anywhere with these people--this family they had become--was simply magical. And, regardless of where they went, or who they encountered, they would always be a family from SHIELD.


	2. Lost in Time and Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enoch has died, drifting off in an endless void with no sound nor darkness. In this space, he finally has the chance to understand what loneliness is to him, as well as the emotions of the humans he so dearly cherish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to replicate the monotone yet somewhat halting way Enoch speaks, so this might feel a bit choppy at times. The goal is to finish this before the series finale (and before they kill off anymore people in the next two episodes), so fingers crossed!

White.

Pure, uninterrupted white.

No sound, no disturbance. 

It was as if someone had removed the battery of the world and all that was left was the outer compartment, non functioning and completely useless. That was, of course, how he felt. Sitting--no, standing, perhaps--in this continued blankness with nothing and no one to obtain his attention, as if he had been shut off permanently. Well, he was, so to speak.

If he had seen this coming, maybe he would have prepared better; he would had said some farewells, tended to unfinished business, maybe even have taken a turn at picking which time-travel destination his humans were enjoying themselves with. But no; such was not the case for him. It was time to come to terms and evaluate the situation properly.

Standing (or sitting?) up, he felt his mind wander across the corners and crevices of the vacant space. He had died, removing his core reactor--his heart, so to speak--to stop the deadly time loop the team was barreling towards, their life moments away from an endless cycle of peril.

Ah, the team. His family; they were not with him now. An ache filled him, which tasted foreign and unnerving to his brain. 

'In my long life I had always been alone--and preferred it--but I had never felt lonely before.'

Lonely.

He had been lonely while dying. That is what he had told them.Who was with him? Coulson and Jemma? No, Coulson and Daisy? He couldn't seem to remember, as if his memory complex had been rebooted and wiped. The team's faces were blurry, unfamiliar, and foreign; even his own name was lost in a haze of damaged circuits. Nothing seemed consistent.

What was persistent, however, was this ebbing pulse of loneliness. Lonely; he was experiencing this for the first time, actually. thirty-two thousand years of complicite solitude and he now was lonely. All because of a handful of humans--humans he originally had planned on aiding in the preservation of their planet. He had given them all his energy and power, all his intellect and strength, and now what? They were gone, a million miles away because of his sacrificing.

Leaving him alone. Lonely in a white, empty space.

Those humans had left him feeling lonely.

Was this bitterness he was experiencing too? It would be considered reasonable to feel such bitterness, along with anger, or fear, or any other possibly tumultuous feelings he could now be harboring. But, they did now gnaw away at the figurative (and quite literal) hole in his heart. 

What even is loneliness?

He sat--no, stood--to ponder. Was it a sharp stab of hurt and despair, or something more sinister, like a endless void of longing? Perhaps it could be both, or neither! Maybe, he could reason, loneliness was far more simplistic. 

Loneliness was simply an emptiness, caused by the forceful loss of something. And that something was his friends.

He smiled; because of him, his friends shall carry on their mission, whatever that was now at this moment. He felt he had been gone for so long, he couldn't even fathom what was occuring on in their living realm.

The blankness seem to change a bit, not significantly, but there appeared around him vague outlines of shapes.

Maybe he was being repurposed?e couldn't help but admit the tiniest trace of jealousy towards Coulson, who the team was more than ready to revive countless of times on a single whim. Shouldn't he, a far more superior device, be allowed the same opportunity?

A conscious clenching was fists occurred, or at least the sensation of such action was recognized.

But, he was not the essential leader that Coulson was--no amount of programming could change that. He was glad to have sacrificed himself for him.

This feeling of loneliness, however draining, was rather humbling. Sure, it brought about a sense of desperation, but weren't these feelings what made humans so endearing? So passionate, kind, and formidable? 

Wasn't this feeling of loneliness what drew him to humans in the first place?

As an anthropologist, he had been gifted with the fascination with the life on Earth; the organisms all peaking his curiosity. But it was always the sapiens that he relished studying, holding a piece of primitiveness that his race no longer possessed.

It was reasonable, then, to believe that he might join them again.

He could wallow in fear and self-pity, but he could also remain hopeful of reunion. Death does indeed reunite all one way or another, chronicom and human alike. And while this wasn't the afterlife he pictured, it wasn't exactly despicable. Maybe the afterlife was shaped by the perceptions that laid unconscious in our brains, slumbering away until the time to reveal themselves came. It would make sense; he, as a chronicom, never saw the logic in believing in a life after death. Hence, the white, empty space. Or maybe it wasn't based on perception at all and this indeed was what the common afterlife looked like. Maybe this was it: the eternal emptiness one felt in death, visualized by never-ending light and walls.

The faintest sounds of voices echoed around him. Jemma; the voice of Jemma Simmons, his best friend's beloved, was rattling in his space. She had been crying earlier, when they had removed Diana, but he couldn't quote tell why. He, of course, had also suppressed his memory of Fitz's recent whereabouts in the name of security, and had failed to reprogram his memory before death. An uneasy feeling settled into what he imagined was his stomach--Jemma Simmons did not cry on a whim. Something must have happened to Leopold Fitz that was far too terrible to confront.

Ah, Leo Fitz. He never got to say goodbye to him, did he? 

The loneliness pinged at his mind again. Leopold Fitz had been his closest--no, his only--companion for what was a blinking moment for the chronicom, but he had given him real friendship when he hadn't needed to. Did he leave such an impression on Fitz? Humans lived such fleeting lives, so he could reason that their relationship had substantial value to the scientist. But, it could be the opposite; since their lives were so short humans would disregard attachment as quickly as as they found them?

"No," He heard himself saying, "Not this human."

This human, along with his other human friends, were too special by comparison. They would remember him. He knew they would, even when he couldn't remember himself.

The voices were becoming more and more distinct, taking notable traits that differentiated them from each other. For example, the calculated and almost callous voice of a female and the commanding rumblie of a male voice. They sounded familiar, perhaps the voices of his companions his frail memory complex was able to retain. Then, a hurried voice, possibly male, was instructing orders.

"Alright, we need to remove his his card and apply it to the Zephyr's control system."

Zephyr? He was on the plane when he had shut down; was that the shapes he was seeing?

"And what's that going to do?" A voiced, brimming with passion, demanded.

"It'll integrate his memory complex and digital conscious into the ship's hard drive."

Hm, like and A.I system, similar to a Mr. Tony Stark's 'JARVIS'. He had researched that before. A.I systems were very helpful (when controlled, that is).

He himself was helpful. Sacrificing a complicite life as an anthropologist and natural scientist, all for the sake and safety of his precious subjects. Was this what humans called matryism? He never really had considered himself a martyr of any kind because, as a chronicom, he believed in focusing on logical self-preservation. They did loose their home planet, after all. Sacrificing yourself for an arguably ill-fated cause was highly illogical--it was a human error.

Well, maybe he was more like them, then. 

"Yes! Yes I am!" A voice--his voice!--echoed in the nothingness, which seemed to less of nothing and more like the control room.

He had given everything, even his life, for the human race and these brave, brave agents. He had given them faith, dependence, and love. He loved these humans! He loved them like family, something he never thought he could do.

"He's rebooting!"

"Work, you stupid plane!"

"Enoch. come in, Enoch!"

That was his name. He was Enoch, a chronicom, an anthropologist, and a crusader. His goal was to protect and preserve the human race, his precious subjects of study, on the their beloved planet. He simply couldn't stop his mission now.

"Enoch, can you hear us?"

It was Fitz! 

Enoch felt a rising sensation, as if he was being lifted in the air. The white space, along with his despair and loneliness, began to vanish in an upward blur. He could see the outline of people: the agents. His family. They were coming more and more into focus. Whirring, buzzing, and flickering filled his sensory complex as the figures became clearer. He could make out distinct faces.

"Welcome back, Enoch."

Bright light, then dimming. Enoch couldn't feel any limbs nor his face, so he tried to move. Nothing happened.

He was in the Zephyr's computer database.

"Enoch, you won't be able to-"

"I understand, Leopold; am I what you call an A.I now?" He asked calmly.

The team--all of them, including Mr. Daniel Sousa--were assembled. They had a grainy tint to them, like he was peering through an old video camera.

"I presume I will still partake in your adventures?" He questioned.

He needed to know. It was critical he still remain in their lives, no matter how hazardous or minute. 

"Yes, Enoch," Jemma explained with a smile, "You are officially the Zephyr's personal A.I assistant."

"So I get to still be a part of your adventures, then?"

Coulson, he saw, was displaying his trademark half-smile.

"We wouldn't have it any other way. You're one of us."

A swell of warmth; pride? No, happiness. It was the human concept of happiness filling him now.

"Fitz, I regret that we could not say any formal goodbyes before this. I apologize."

"Oh, you massive pain in the ass, this is hardly a goodbye. I mean, it took me seven months to fully reboot you," Fitz explained wirily, "You aren't going anywhere after all that work."

"Seven months? And what might you be doing in that time?" Enoch asked. His voice sounded grainy.

"Saved the world, had a reunion tour with Deke Squad, some of us got married; lots of fun stuff." Daisy replied.

"Recently, we just returned from the 1950s. It was a whole deal." Elena answered with a wave of her now bejeweled hand.

Enoch was pleased; his prediction in the end did not come to be after all.

"So, where to next?" He asked.

Coulson whipped out a notebook and pen.

"I believe it's...hold on...it is Daisy's turn!" He said, scribbling away.

"Oh, this'll be good." May said, playfully rolling her eyes.

Fitz look at a camera, as if they were making eye contact.

"You ready?"

Yes, Enoch was ready to be back. Back with his team, his family, his precious humans. Even in death, the cruelest and most unforgiving space of all, he was not stripped of their love and their connection. And he would protect them and guide them, as he had done before; he would remain in their family, as he had always been.

"As I always have been."


	3. Back from the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the Daisy's turn at their destination, the team heads to 1962, where the Civil Rights Movement is in full-swing. During their adventure, the LMD of Coulson finally starts to come to terms with his existence, questioning why he deserves to exist at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With a lot of turmoil going on, I felt it necessary to try and tackle my country's horrible dislike for the Black Lives Matter movement; I can only do it so much with my meager amount of comprehension.
> 
> Also, a huge farewell to Coulson; he was (still is) undeniably my favorite and I honestly am going to miss him a lot. Maybe one day he'll get to reunite with the Avengers (**wink, wink**).

Fascinatingly enough, Daisy let Sousa weigh-in on her time traveling destination. He was excited, to say the least.

"There's so many places to go; can we go see flying cars? Or anything in space? Or how about dinosaurs? Those might be fun!"

"Sorry, Sousa, this isn't like Back to the Future." Coulson quipped, knowing the other man had only just watched the trilogy with Daisy.

Sousa nodded and paused in thought for a moment. Then, he seemed to have an idea.

"What's the most hopping place for social justice?" He asked.

Coulson chuckled; it was a very loaded question. Immediately, Simmons and Daisy began rattling off destinations, ranging from the Women's Rights Movement to the Emancipation Proclamation. As the team's designated history buff, Coulson saw these as fine choices, but Sousa seem particularly intrigued by one. 

"You said the Civil Rights Movement was important?" He asked.

Daisy nodded eagerly.

"It was insane!" She replied, "Our dumbass country finally facing up to our racist past and Black America taking action and demanding equal treatment from its suppressors; it was pivotal for African American rights."

"Plus, there's many other important events happening, too." Elena added.

Coulson brightened.

"She's right," He stated, "You got the Vietnam War, America's first craft in space, and don't get me started on the various protests for environmental reform."

"Let's just say the 1960s were a real trip." Mack said.

Coulson relished getting to use his knowledge; his memory complex was filled with important dates and events--he was a super computer, after all. He asked Enoch to type in coordinates for Washington D.C. 1962 seemed to fit Daisy and Sousa's criteria the best. They could stop by a few campus protests, watch a march, and perhaps check out a sit-in; it would be quite and educational trip for Sousa, who seemed to only be slightly aware of Daisy's acception of his ovbious affection for her. Coulson smiled. They were headed for a good trip.

"Alright, next stop, the U.S capitol, 1962." Fitz called.

He pressed a few buttons, pulled a lever, and in a blip they were off.

***************************************************************************  
Upon landing, it was clear that they were not in D.C. To start, the temperature was too humid for what seemed to be autumn in their location. Secondly, they had landed on the outskirts of a massive college campus instead of the bustling region of Columbia. 

"Uh, where are we?" Daisy asked, peaking out of the lowering cargo door.

Together, the rest of the team meandered out into the open, scanning and surveying to each other's satisfaction. The area itself seemed a little queit, in Coulson's opinion.

"Fitz, where we at?" Mack barked.

The scientist had already scurried back into the control room and was analyzing their coordinates' display section, a confused look spreading on his face. 

Coulstarted to rack his brain for answers. The climate screamed 'Southern State' and a intricate university suggested a handful of events they might have jumped to instead of D.C. The most obvious answer was Little Rock High School, but that was in 1957 and had a lot more press attending it. Besides, the building were too old and established to be a public high school.

"We're still in 1962, apparently!" Fitz called.

Mack grumbled something unintelligable and ducked back into the Zephyr.

Could it be Kent State? The campus seemed similar in size, but that was in Ohio and the violent protest wouldn't even occur for another eight years.

"Guys, there seems to be crowds gathering East of us." May said warily.

Crowds? Why's that? 

Coulson's system was whirring at an intense speed. 1962 was in the thick of the Civil Rights Movement, but Birmington hadn't occurred yet. Neither had the March on Washington, nor any of Malcolm X's events. it could be a Vietnam protest, since those were rising in number around this time, but the tone May had alerted them with conveyed a sense of caution. Was it a mob? A peaceful march? He had no idea.

"So, logically speaking, what could be here?" Jemma asked.

She turned to Coulson now for an answer; he was the history buff, after all. He shrugged.

"Fitz, what state are we in at least?" He asked.

Fitz, who had just came back outside, propped his hands on his hips.

"Mississippi," He replied, "Why, sir?"

It still felt odd how they sometimes addressed him; typically, you don't refer to an LMD as 'sir', no matter how glorified of a robot he was. It was a forminality that beseeched a past respect that was not his to claim.

"Okay; 1962...Mississippi... mobs...we're at Ole' Miss!" Coulson declared.

They could now all hear shouting and chants from the distant crowds.

"Mississippi University? Why's that important?" Sousa questioned, confused.

Coulson could see a note of realization in Elena's gaze.

"Back in 1962, a colored army vet applied to school here, but was not allowed in because it was an all-white campus at the time," "She explained, "The Supreme Court had ruled in favor of the guy, but the state's governor sent troops out to block him from entering."

Coulson switched his gaze to far-range; the crowd seemed to be massing by the campus' central hall, which was only mere meters away from their current location. The crowd itself seemed to be more violent than a typical school protest, which made Coulson uneasy. They were not ready to tussle with an angry mob after endless hours of time-travel. A quick getaway might be necessary. 

""Agent Coulson, should I prepare the Zephyr for cloaking and takeoff?"

Now that Enoch was wired into their system--his system--he had the uncanny ability to almost read his thoughts. Maybe it was a chronicom thing.

"Wait, we still that here?" Sousa was asking Daisy.

The look on his face was an appalling mix of confusion and disgust. It was hard to forget that he came from a world where the colored community wasn't even allowed to joined armed forces for the most part.

"Yep. Even in the future we do bullshit like this." Daisy replied with equal disain. 

That was his Daisy: passionate and bullheaded. She always had her own sense of righteousness, which, he had to admit, he had always secretly admired. All those times she didn't waver to do what was the closest choice to justice, it made him grateful to be around. But that wasn't his Daisy, so to speak. Nor his own feelings. She had impressed and cared and endeared the real Coulson, the Phillip Coulson that moved heaven and earth for his team, the Phillip Coulson who literally died on a whim for histeam. He was just a karboncopy.

For for it with the cloaking, but we aren't taking off." He relayed back. 

Enoch soon engaged cloaking, the plane shimmering out of sight in moments. The others turned to him.

"What's your plan?" May demanded.

Coulson grinned; an ancient sentiment missed her assertive tone.

"we're going out there, aren't we?" 

It was Daisy, her eyes alight with action.

"Yes, ma'am."

Jemma glanced at her watch.

"If Meredith is to enter the building on October first, we really only have a few hours before then." She sated, "What is the plan?"

The others turned to Coulson in unison, searching for an answer. He almost felt like a leader to them.

"alright team, grab some markers; we got a protest to prepare for."

******************************************************************************

The teAm spent the rest of the waking hours hunkered down in the Zephyr's lounge area, paired off and busily creating as many posters as possible. While working, Coulson couldn't help bu8t eavesdrop on his friends' conversations. He knew just about everything there was to know about them; the alleged science monkey Fitz wanted to own, Jemma's horrible acting skills when it came to undercover missions, Elena's deep connection her her family and faith, Mack's phobias of horror movies. He knew about Daisy's alleged third legal name from her orphanage days and May's weekly phone calls to her mother--all details of intel, carefully curated over almost a decade or time together. 

But they weren't his memories. he wasn't the one who had comforted Fitz, or mentored Mack, or jumped through a wormhole from a plane to save Jemma. He wasn't the one who welcomed Elena or Deke or others before them, even. He wasn't the one who loved May and Daisy with all his heart. His memories were artificial, mere remnants of a man far superior to him.

He peered over at Daisy and Sousa, who were sharing a coffee table between them to work.

"So, you're telling me that there's a huge movement to ban segregation going on right now in the country?" Sousa asked.

Daisy nodded, grabbing a thick, black marker from a supply box.

"Does it work?" 

Daisy shrugged.

"Legally, yes. Jim Crow laws are banned and by the end of this whole thing African Americans are able to vote. However, it doesn't get much better, really." She stated.

Sousa nodded silently. Then, he reached for her hand. Coulson watched as she did not retract. They lingered like that for a while.

"you're incredible. I don't know if anyone tells you that enough, so I will. You move mountain, both in a figurative and probably literal sense as well. I just need you to know that I think you are incredible."

Coulson couldn't help but beam; Daisy had loved so hard and passionately over the years, and everyone whom she loved--Ward, Trip, Lincoln--they all had caused her so much pain when they were gone. Coulson marveled at how she could still search for love and not be deterred by her dismal past. If it was him, he would have given up long ago.

'But not Daisy.' He thought wryly.

Coulson couldn't be any prouder of her; the memories programmed into his complex resurfaced an almost fatherly sense of admiration. The real Coulson loved her as if she really was his own daughter and had done everything for her, even sacrificing himself for her safety. Was he allowed to claim those feelings as his own?

"Daniel, we can only do what is right. We were protectors in the present, so why not be heroes in the past as well?" 

Their hands were now firmly clasped across the table and Coulson could almost feel the intensity radiating off of Daisy's words.

Who knew women out of place in the human world who be perfect for a man out of time in the real world?

"Y'know, I do remember that kiss you gave a few light years away." Sousa said slyly.

Daisy smirked.

"I'm surprised you were even able to remember that, you old geezer." She replied.

They were, surprisingly, perfect for each other. A match made in time and space.

Coulson stared at his blank poster board.

He was the shadow of a hero, a significant protector and leader for the team. Yet, since his activation, he never actually felt as if he belonged with them; Mack was always wary, FitzSimmons would keep their distance despite designing him, and Melinda...well, Melinda May was a subject he seemed to recall as difficult to approach. Did she still feel anything for him?For the real Coulson, that is. He imagined not--she couldn't feel anything of her own anymore anyways. He couldn't validate himself as real, really. Just a machine designed to quell the grief of a group of humans. 

But Daisy's words clung his thoughts. The could be protectors of the past world, too. After all, time travel was basically in their job description at this point, so might as well make the most of their symbolic shield on others.

'Because S.H.I.E.L.D is a symbol of hope!' 

The words of Phillip Coulson rang in his auditory complex. Yes, they were as symbol of hope, even after being through so much they remained a shield to those who needed it most. They were a symbol of hope; they were a symbol of peace and justice and courage and of undying bravery in the face of total adversity. 

He glanced back at his blank board.

"We're moving out in an hour, everyone, so finish up your final touches." Mack announced.

Spurred by an idea, Coulson began to scribble furiously on his poster, uncapping a marker with zeal. Time to live up to the shadow he was now embodying. 

***************************************************************

At dawn, the team cloaked the Zephyr and headed out for the school campus. They mingled with others, both colored and not, in front of the Mississippi university. Somewhere in the front of the crowd, a young black man stood, waiting to shake the world and solidify his act of heroism for history. The energy was simply breathtaking, hundreds of people stood, chanting and cheering, demanding Meredith's entrance past the stone faced wall of state troopers.

Coulson felt a swelling sensation of joy as he watched the other. He saw Mack and Elena shouting out of pride for their origins, FitzSimmons calling for logical human kindness; Melinda, her voice an absolute beackon, demanding justice for those oppressed. But the clearest voice of all was Daisy's, who urged others in the crowd to act in love instead of hate, peace instead of violence.

For the first time, Coulson felt alive.

Not just the regular blurry awakening from a digital slumber or an achy sensation of invading someone else's memories and personality, but a true sensation of life. He had died over and over and never believed that he deserved to replace the man he was modelled after. He should have stayed dead--that was what Phillip Coulson wanted--in order to help the team move on without him. It was exhausting, his brain should tell him, to keep coming back from the edge. It's what Philip Coulson would want.

'But that's not what I wanted.' He decided.

He looked around at his family's faces, crying out for justice and reform among hundreds with the same goal.

This is why he kept coming back; because without him, the team was lacking. without him, they wouldn't have the push he provided to make a change in their world. 

And, without the team, he was lacking too.

Coulson raised up his sign, which read "Stand Up for Hope Not Hate!" and caught Sousa's eye.

A look of recognition. 

A nod of approval. 

Out of all of Daisy's partners, Daniel Sousa was going to be his favourite. 

Soon, the state troopers began to relent.

Was this why he always came back? To play the hero one more time?

"We will not stand patient! You must let this man pass!" Daisy hollered, throwing as fist in the air.

She made him come back--the team, their family, had willed him back into existien ce not because they saw him useful but because they needed him to carry on. They willed him back into their lives over and over again because S.H.I.E.L.D was not a shield without him by their side.

The crowd roared in agreement to Daisy's proclamation and burst pass the failing troops. Within moments, Mississippi State University had its first student of color among their halls. They were officially an integrated school. Cheers rung out among the crowd and the agents embraced one another, cheering and singing along with those not from their time. It felt good to do goods again. 

"You know, Agent Coulson, it is quite moving to watch these humans and their will for change." Enoch remarked through his auditory complex.

"I think you're right, Enoch. Maybe that'll be our new mission." Coulson replied.

Imagine that: a group of people, an agency, that travelled through time to ensure and protect historical change. It was a history buff dream; it was a hero's mission. 

That, Coulson decided happily, was something worth returning for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always felt our agents would get tired of sidelining themselves, so now they travel time not just for fun but to help others in history.


	4. Moonbeam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena and Mack have both made the decision to propose to each other, the question is, who will get to pop the question first?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This deserved more time and love than I could give it and I'm scrambling to finish this before the series finale (argh) but I felt they deserved a big moment together. Here's to more happy endings!

It was Elena's turn next, but before they could head off to Colombia to visit her Uncle Francisco, she needed to do something. Currently, they were back in 1983 and the team were spending a couple of nights to rest the time reactor, so that left them with an evening of freetime and--a rarity--relaxation. She had a plan and a pawn shop by Enoch from their location two blocks away from their cloaked position; the evening was going to be memorable. She even had a list made by an ever persistent and hopelessly romantic Jemma.

"You should take him to downtown Santa Fe, or maybe to a candle-lit dinner, or to one of their national parks for a picnic or--ooh! You could try camping..."

The chemist could drone on and on about all the arguably mushy and sappy things she recycled from her double dates with Sousa and Daisy; it was simply not Elena's style. She liked subtle, discreet. Certainly not this crap. She needed something substantial and relatively casual and, well, fast. The team was only going to be in New Mexico for a few days, which left Elnea with a timer on her special plans.

She didn't want to rush it; Mack deserved the biggest, most memorable proposal she could muster in twenty-four hours. The plan would be perfect, there was just one problem: she had no plan yet.

The first person she sought out after Jemma was Daisy, who was relaxing in her bunker, a coloring book and a wine cooler at hand.

"What brings you by, Yo-yo?" She asked, not looking up from underwater wonderland she was shading blue.

Next to her bed, a bowl of broken crayons and colored pencils laid, victims of her furious strokes and overzealous scribbling. Yo-yo sat on her desk, her legs impatiently swinging.

"What's your ideal date night when you get the time?" She asked.

Daisy gave her a knowing look.

"Well, typically my dates die before we get to the nights out and seaside vacations, but Danny Boy and FitzSimmons and I went on a cute camping trip in-"

"Don't mention the camping," Elena interrupted, "I hate bugs and Mack's head will bake in the sun like a potato."

"Well, a movie is always fun; super lowkey and stuff." Daisy replied.

Elena like the idea, but felt it could be better. She knew who to find next.

"Thanks, girl." She said and dashed out, leaving Daisy to her masterpiece.

In heartbeat, Elena was at Coulson's old office. Grandeur was not her forte; in fact, the idea of proposal and marriage in general totally unnerved her. He powers had always kept her from any real connections besides other agents like Graham and Mack. Mack, specifically, made her fear commitment not because he didn't love her but because she worried he'd rush things and regret it. It was frustrating, which meant she needed Coulson.

'He always has answer.' She decided.

She knocked on his door.

"Come in!"

She peered in and discovered the LMD of Coulson, squatting over a giant replica of Lola, tinkering away at a miniature electrical system.

"Do you have a minute, sir?" Elena asked.

Coulson nodded and scrambled to his feet.

"How can I be of service to you today, Yo-yo?" He asked, turning to his desk for his screwdriver.

"I need your advice..."

"On what?"

"Well, it's for Mack."

"I'm not taking any commissions right now, Elena; this baby is mine."

"No, no. I'm going to propose to him."

"Oh! Oh, very progressive of you. Tell me all about it."

Coulson's smile tipped her off.

"You knew, didn't you?" She questioned.

Coulson looked up from the miniture's engine and smirked.

"Come on, Elena, I know everything." He replied.

Of course he did.

"By the way," He continued, "I put a bet against May that you would propose first, so there's a hefty fifty bucks on the line."

'Of course he knew; Coulson has eyes all over now that him and Enoch are synced all the time.' She thought.

"Well, if you want me to win so badly, how about you give me a few pointers?" She ventured, leaning against the open doorframe.

Coulson looked up and beamed.

"I'd love too!"

He then jumped to his feet and shooed Elena inside the room, slamming the door shut and locking it shut.

"What the Hell was that?" Elena exclaimed.

She didn't realize how jumpy the robot Coulson could get, especially around their teammates. The LMD made an exasperated shushing sign and motioned for her to sit in his spare chair.

"Quiet, Agent Rodriguez, this is officially a top-secret mission you are embarking on." He whispered.

Elena almost rolled her eyes; now was not the time for theatrics.

"How come?' She demanded.

Coulson let out a snobby laugh but didn't answer. Instead, he dug a notepad out from a desk drawer and grabbed a pen, flipping pages until he found a blank one.

"I'm thinking a scene by a clearing, enveloped in moonlight, a nice little autumn breeze in place. The team can go buy some scented candles or use our flare lights (but that would be more of a fire hazard anyways) and you can get Mack some native Desert Honeysuckles or blanket flowers...oh, it's gonna blow him away!"

"Do you have some secret job writing Nicholas Sparks knock-offs?" Elena interrupted with a laugh.

This romantic bullcrap was simply too eye-drawing and embarrassing for her to do. Coulson put his hands up in defeat.

"Hey, whatever you do, I better get those fifty bucks." He said.

'On to the next person, then.' She decided, and zipped through the hallway.

Heading to the weightroom, she passed Fitz and a very pregnant Simmons, who were sitting in the lounge and bickering over what Elnan assumed was a list of baby names.

"How about Harper? It's a pretty name."

"But so is Margaret! She's needs to have a proper English name, at least."

"Yah, and everyone will call her 'Marge' like she's some old heffer from a cheap western movie. Let's pick a strong Scottish name like Agnes or Morag."

"You think Morag is better than Margaret? Besides, I know my Celtic history; Margaret became very popular in the eleventh century with your people."

"Well, the baby is going to be due in a month, whether we name it or not."

'Ugh, marriage.' Elena sneered in her head.

To think Mack and her would ever be reduced to that...that silliness was absurd. They certainly were not the type to rattle on about little houses and baby names and double dates like FitzSimmons. Or, would they be reduced to this monotony of brunches with other couples and real estate hunting?

She turned a corner. Maybe this was a bad idea. It was too late to retreat, however, once she made eye contact with her target. May was just about to leave the weight room when they made eye contact.

"You feel troubled." She stated flatly.

May seemed to have been finishing up a kick-boxing set, her hair tied up and gloves still on.

"Actually, I'm more than that." Elena replied.

Suddenly, she noticed MAck, his back turned to them, sitting on a bench by their dumbbell rack. She hastily grabbed May and yanked her out into the hall, away from earshot.

"Now you feel alarmed." May noted.

"Look, i know you and Coulson got a bet going on, about Mack and I, but I'm going to ask soon so i need your help."  
Elena explained.

May held an expression of genuine surprise.

"Why me?"

"Because everyone else's suggestions are too Hallmark-y for me. It won't work for him."

They both glanced back at Mack, who was nodding away to his headphones.

"Okay, so you something casual. How about a movie?" May said.

Another vote for a movie. It was a solid idea, btu Elena didn't want something too basic; she need something more than a typical Friday movie night with the team.

"Anything else? I like the movie but I feel it can be more than just that."

"How about a drive-in?" May answered with a nod of her water bottle, "It's 1983; they're still very popular nowadays and I'm sure you could find one around here."

Yo-yo's dilated at the thought. It was a perfect idea; not too showy but maintain a romantic yet casual vibe. It amused her how easily May connected with her idea.

"Thanks, May, I'm off to find a pawnshop." Elena said.

'Tomorrow, we'll do this tomorrow evening.' She decided, and in a flash, she was off.

*****************************************************************  
"May, you said she's going to propose to me?"

Mack and May were sitting together in the Zephyr's kitchen. He and May were typically awake before anyone else on the base and were having breakfast together as usual, admiring the the kitchen he and Susa had recently refurbished. The guy couldn't take a hint if it was two feet in front of him, but at least he was good with an electrical saw.

May nodded, taking a sip of her coffee.

"She's going to suggest you two go out tonight to a drive-in and will most likely do it then." She replied.

That sounded like Yo-yo; casual yet traditional. Ironically enough,he had mentioned to May earlier in the week of taking Elena to a drive-in. It was a good time to pick such a date too; they had landed in October of 1983 and halloween was right around the corner, which meant plenty of staple horror movies premiering. There was only one problem.

"I'm not a fan of horror movies."

That was an understatement. Mack had a deep and persistent fear of horror movies; all those ghosts, demons, serial killers, science abominations, and killer robots (he really didn't like those) made him uneasy even as an adult. And the camp-themed ones were off the menu when he ever considered watching on e after his brothers terrorized him with Camp Sleepaway Camp when it first came out. He didn't want to spend the whole night cowerting when he could instead be winning her heart.

"Well, Director, you might want to overcome that for tonight." May replied dismissively.

She was right; if Mack wanted to propose first, which he had prepared for weeks ago, he could handle a simple scary movie. He wasn't the horror junkie Elena and Daisy were, but he had been somewhat forced to watch DeadMeat Youtube videos by Daisy on more than one occasion, so most options Elena picked would already be spoiled for him of any nasty surprises. And, as for the gore, well, they had all dealt with stuff far worse than fake blood and pig intestines.

"Alright, I'll be ready tonight. I've already got some precursor things set in motion to place the mood." Mack said.

May chuckled into her mug.

"You better, because I have my eyes on a real nice set of nunchucks and I can't let a robot beat me in a bet."

******************************************************************************

From the moment they left the Zephyr, Elena could sense Mack was hiding something. For starters, he had suggested they go to a drive-in moments before she was going to do the same. Secondly, he offered to buy them dinner before she could do it. Also, he had left her flowers that oddly fit Coulson's suggestions to her earlier the other day. And now, as they drove in Lola, he had mentioned a visit to a nearby pawn shop to look at some 'vintage antiques'. Did somebody tell him what her plan was? Or was she trying to beat him to the proposal? Elena suspected May had something to do with this, but said nothing. She was determined to beat Mack to the question.

"We got a few places to pick from; one downtown is showing 'Evil Dead Two'. with this one two blocks from here has that awful 'Jaws 3D'," She was rambling, "There's another one that's got 'Cujo', but I heard it doesn't live up to the book's reputation."

What was she doing? She never went on like this, as if she was Simmons twittering about something nerdy. Besides, they had already picked Sleepaway Camp as their movie, which had seemed to put Mack in an uncharacteristically edgy mood. The particular drive-in was perfect, out in a clearing meant few civilians and more privacy, so she could propose with without any feelings of silliness.

'Tranquilízate Elena, tranquilízate.' She scolded herself.

Their destination soon camer into view and Elena could see the opening commercials rolling. Because of the long drive into a dark forest, very few cars were parked, so they snagged an open spot near the front. She liked the setting; it gave a perfectly eerie sense to their date. Mack however, was not a fan of it.

"Did you ever watch this one as a kid?" Elena asked him.

Mack nodded, "It was a pretty average slasher; my brother showed it to me when I was a kid and we all found it scary ast the time." Mack answered as caudally as he could.

He did not mention, however, that he had peed his pants at the tender age of twelve when Angela deep-fried Judy with a curling iron to the vagina.

From the backseat, Elena grabbed a pack of beer and a picnic basket Deke had stolen from 1939 when he wanted to see the 'The Wizard of Oz" , which they had filled with an authentic fajita bar's lineup of appetizers. Mack had brought a bottle of their favourite tequila as well, resting it and a pair of glasses safety in the car's glove compartment. Too bad Deke wasn't around to tell about this later.

Within a few minutes, the screen went dark and the opening credits appeared, the pari of agents quietly munching on their meal. Elena wanted to desperately yank out the little, black matte box before Mack go the chance. But, the mood was not right; she needed to be patient, wait for Mack and herself to enjoy their dinner and a good portion of the movie. But, she also wanted to rush the whole thing before Mack could, on the off handed chance, say no.

Admittedly, Elena had rushed the whole evening together quite smoothly, but she had done so in a way that she never even stopped to consider that Mack might not even be ready for marriage. Would he really say no? It was a risk she had been too impulsive to consider.

Elena felt Mack jump against her shoulder.

"Ooh, damn, don't go in there girl...Angela is gonna get you!" He said to himself.

"Chill, Mack, it's just a movie."

"But do you know how horrible Judy is going to die? It's kinda spooky."

"I thought you were 'Mr. Tough Guy', huh? I'm sure this movie can't be that bad."

"Oh, watch out, Judy! She's coming for you!"

"You want me to head back ands get your ax-gun for you? Or can you handle this?"

'What a wuss.' Elena thought, suppressing a laugh.

Mack was always so on-edge, waiting for the worst. He was the ultimate planner, the best over thinker she knew. Shouldn't she be a little more cautious? All those times she had recklessly put her life on the line and the even more numerous times she attempted to before Mack--the voice of reason--stopped her; she should be more prepared, especially now, when she was mere moments from proposing. She should have prepared herself mentally for a rejection, which was seeming more and more plausible.

'You're being to impulsive' or 'We should discuss this before following through' or, her favorite, 'We need to consult the team for further action'. He could say all these things and he would be right; even though they had been through so much, were they really ready to be married? A list of questions flooded Elena's head. Would they have children? Could they find a house? Would this mean leaving the team? They couldn't turn the Zephyr into a boarding school like FitzSimmons are inevitably doing.

She looked at him, his face filling with terror as a teenage girl snuck into another camper's room, brandishing a hot curling iron.

'Have I given him enough time to love me?'

Mack tore his fear-stricken eyes away from the screen and met Elena's gaze. He knew she was going to make the first move, so he tried to stall her.

"I believe it's time for a drink." He declared, reaching for the liquor and shot glasses.

He poured each of them a shot and handed Elena hers. He now had the perfect opportunity to propose before she did. This confident facade hide how he truly felt: he was afraid, and not just because of the movie. Had he waited too long? Mack valued reason and logical, clear-headed thinking, not tarnished by in-the-moment emotions. What if he had been too cautious and the opportunity to really love each other to their fullest was gone, lost in time and space?

he reached an arm around her narrow shoulders, holding his glass in his left hand. She readjusted to rest her head in the crook of his neck, but he could sense how tense she was. he swallowed; might as well give it a shot.

"Elena, I believe it's time we discuss something."

"I agree; me first."

"Oh no, I inist."

They both turned to grab their respective prizes.

"So do I."

Mack grabbed at his box from under the seat, gingerly setting his drink on his lap. Then, he got distracted by the movie, and the curling iron was whipped out.

"Oh shit!" He cried.

Elena had never seen him react so much; he almost jumped right out his seat, sending the drinks flying. They could hear laughter coming from neighboring cars, while in the back screams filled the plot of land. So much for discreet. Almost immediately, Elena's flight reaction kicked in and she was out the car door and bolting away. Mack remained in the car, soaking and humiliated. He could hear asniggering from the car to his right.

'Damn jumpscare.' He thought sulkily, 'Damn coward.'

He found the box under the seat, but it was too late; Elena was nowhere to be seen. With a slam of the car door, Mack wandered off.

"Yo-yo, what ever happened to bouncing back? We gotta talk!" He called, but no answer.

She couldn't have gone very far, he reasoned, given the clearing was headed off with a thick treeline. He trekked up a little hill and began to grow worried.

He had waited too long--years too long--to ask the woman he loved if she would spend the rest of her life with him. All the ups and downs, the horrors they had fsc ed together; he knew elena was the one for him. And now, when he had the chance to let his role as Director fall to the side and just exist like another civilian, all his meditations on the matter failed him. he had screwed himself over.

Eventually, Mack found Elena, sitting under a maple tree and staring up at the half moon in the sky.

It was now or never.

Elena heard him approaching and shame rise from within. Elena Rodriguez never runs from a fight, but after facing the toughest of them all, her first reaction tonight was to run. Sher never considered how nervous she was and had conjured the whole night on a complete whim, questioning if she could even pull through with it. He was walking down the hill to meet her now.

'I love him.' She thought intensely, 'Isn't that reasonable enough?'

All the arguments of whether she had enough control over herself or whether he was too cautious to put effort into their relationship suddenly didn't seem to matter--she knew she was ready. It was the only reasonable thing to do at this point.

"Mack, I love you. So, I am asking you the hardest question i can in my life," She started.

He now was only an arm's distance away and she stood to meet him.

"Betting aside, I want you to be mi esposo; my partner, not just for life, but for all eternity. Please."

She held out the box, which Mack took and examined the slim gold band inside. He said nothing for a second. Then he took the ring and slid it on, moving to embrace her.

He had practiced, in her native language, thousands of time before Coulson and various mirrors. He had practiced, when sifting through paperwork, giving order, fighting for his life. Hew had been practicing since the day he met her. He had waited patiently for years for the right moments, passing almost five years of trial and drudgery in hopes of better circumstances to ask her. Now, under the stars and stuck in the 80s, seemed to be the perfect time.

"Elena, cuando te conocí, nunca supe lo importante que serías. Hemos viajado por las estrellas para estar aquí y no me gustaría tener a nadie más a mi lado. ¿Te quieres casar conmigo?"

There, under the moonbeams of New Mexico, somewhere between impulse and reason, they could feel the weight of their decision. It meant the beginning of normality; they were not agents anymore, but instead human beings who loved each other and now had the chance to pursue it without interrupt.

They hugged each other and for the longest moment would not let go.

"Looks like we need a engagement party, now." Elena muttered.

Mack nodded into her shoulder.

"Yes, and I know who we are going to invite.'

They looked at each other, their rings glistening.

"Looks like Coulson just won himself fifty bucks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I love these two so much. FitzSimmons are next...time to give them something permanently positive for once in their lives.
> 
> Translations (on Google Translate):
> 
> •Tranquilízate- 'Get it together'
> 
> •Esposo 'Husband'
> 
> •Mack's proposal: 'Elena, when I first met you, I never knew how important you would be. We have traveled across the stars to be here and I would not want anyone else by my side. Will you marry me?'


	5. Wait by the River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very pregnant FitzSimmons and the team journey off to find the perfect spot in time for the birth of their baby!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank LORD we got a happy ending for these two...I'm going to miss them so much. ToT

"Fitz, I can't sleep."

"Did you take your Tylenol?"

"Yes."

"And did you drink your tea?"

"Obviously."

"Well, just try and relax, love."

"You try relaxing with an organism feasting on your lifeforce."

It was a quarter to one in the morning and the Zephyr was coasting through a vortex to May's chosen destination; the rest of the team was sound asleep in their bunks, but Jemma was wide awake. The baby--their daughter--wouldn't stop kicking, making this the third night in a row of uncomfortability. Fitz rolled to his side to look at her.

"Jemma, it's not an organism; it's our baby girl." He said.

His sleep suffered just as much, constantly tending to his wife and fretting over how exactly they were going to raise a child while out in the void of time of space. He put a hand on Jemma's belly. There was another kick.

"Hey," He said sleepily, " It'll all work out. The baby isn't even due for another month ands when the time comes we'' just to the nicest hospital we can find. Then, we have a beautiful girl named--"

"We aren't naming our child Morag." Jemma interrupted, attempting to roll over. 

"Help me turn over." She groaned. 

Fitz smirked and propped himself up on his elbow.

"Nah, you look cute like that, all grumpy and swollen."

"Leo!"

"Kind of like an overfed hippopotamus..."

"Leopold!"

Fitz snickered as Jemma tried to flip herself with her body weight, only to roll back into the same spot. After a few moments, Fitz shimmied closer to her, his chest pressing against her back.

"There, there, Jemma. don't get your fallopian tubes in a twist." He soothed, one hand on her belly and the other entwined with her fingers.

"My fallopian tubes are quite well, thank you." She retorted.

They both sighed. Ever since she tested positive, Jemma's mood suffered greatly, ranging to borderline hysterics to an uncommon, ill tempered sarcasm.Tonight happened to lean to the latter. And, before that, the pregnancy itself had tested them; the first time they had tried, out in the vast void of time and space just trying to live their lives for a change, they had suffered a miscarriage, leading Fitz to persuade Jemma to develop Diane in order to continue on with the plan. It had been traumatic to say the least, and both the team and the couple had suffered greatly upon the reveal of the incident. In fact, it was so devastating that FitzSimmons almost didn't try again; yet for Deke's security, as well as the mutual desire to have a child, they tried again. 

And, so far, this time was going more smoothly. The first baby had only made it to the fourth month and they were heading into the eighth month of the term. The baby--they assumed could only be a girl--had given Simmons uncharacteristic cmood-sdwings, aches and pains all over, and an impressive affirmation to nausea. As for Fitz, the new baby gave him pains as well: he suffered from high anxiety levels, insomnia, and an acute case of pre-paternal fear for both the baby and Jemma's health. But they could handle it; they had handled worse, anyways. Beside, the baby wasn't due for another three weeks.It was all under control.

"Fitz, are we ready to be parents?"

The question surprised him, but not really. He tightened his grip on Jemma's hand. 

"Of course we are, Jemma. We were the first time."

Jemma nodded and trucked her legs against her abdomen. 

Yes, at first glance, they were ready; they had completed oodles of research and even refurbished Fitz's old bunker. But, she was worried. Both her and Fitz had suffered greatly while away for so long from each other and the silent fear that preyed on their reasoning ate away at them daily. 

In addition, Deke had left mysteriously months ago, robbing them of the endless care and concern he always supplied them with, which bothered them both, but for seperate reasons. Fitz believed it a dishonor to the couple, who were desperately trying to procreate for his literal sake. Jemma simply worried over his well-being, knowing he had gone through a lot to find the team again. It was a difficult topic of discussion with the team.

"When do you think Deke will be back?" Jemma asked absent-mindedly.

She felt her husband shrug against her.

"Beats me; he could be gone for years for all we know." Fitz replied, a hint of disapproval in his voice, "You'd think he'd be here for the birth of his mother."

He pulled the thick blanket further over them. Out of all the times Deke and his invasive arse meddled with their lives, this was the one time they truly needed him. He could work with Fitz instead of Jemma on the elusive time reactor (the bloody thing was going to break at any moment) while she rested. 

"Fitz, I don't feel good." Jemma muttered.

He sat up and touched her forehead, which was growing warm. 

"I'll get you some water, love." He said, bouncing out and into the bathroom.

A panic was steadily filling his mind. The baby was due for almost a month at the earliest, but the possibility of premature labor always was in existent for them. After all, FitzSimmons were notorious for suffering from incredible levels of anxiety, especially separation anxiety and PTSD, which all but ensured a prematurely born baby. With their track record, the baby never had a chance at normal birth.

Fitz grabbed a glass of water and the container of Motrin. If Jemma was going to be nauseous, he didn't want her to suffer from an ear-splitting headache with no sleep in her. hev padded back and set the items on her nightstand.

"Leo," Jemma whispered."

"Yes, dear, I got your painkillers." Fitz replied, settling back into bed.

"Leo."

She looked so tired.

"Leo!"

"What?"

Fitz didn't like the panic welling in. her voice.

"I think I'm going into labor."

***********************************************************

The team was up and assembled in ten minutes, all crowded by the entrance to Jemma's bunker. Sousa was the last one to arrive, having gotten lost in the endless grey corridors. 

"Nice nightgown, Danny." Daisy snarked.

"Um, it's a nightshirt, Daisy dearest, and they happened to be very popular in the 1940s." Sousa retorted.

"Yeah, that's what my grandpa probably wore."

"He would have had a good sense of taste, then."

"Daisy, he's the age of your grandpa, basically." Elena said, exasperated by the late hour.

"Yeah, I could very well be the same age."

"...Ew, no. Too far."

"Okay, that's enough." Mack rumbled, equally exasperated by the time.

He knocked on Jemma's door. Fitz yanked it open immediately.

"We just finished a list of places where to go for the birth." He said, his voice clipped in a buisness-matter way.

He handed the list to Mack, who read it aloud.

"Are these hospitals, Turbo? Because these are pretty old dates to consider as the best option for hospitals..."

"We want the baby to be born somewhere special, like the discovery of evolution or the first spaceship," Jemma explained, waddling out for them, "Some place important to science."

The team looked incredulous.

Simmons, you're telling us that, even with excruciating labor pains, you'd rather squat and drop somewhere in the Industrial Revolution than somewhere with at least some anesthesia?" Daisy asked.

Jemma nodded her head briskly.

"Precisely."

The tone in her voice allowed little disagreement, no matter how sensible it might be. Mack handed the list to silent May, who gave it a quick once-over. The room was silent except for Jemma's increasingly heavier breaths.

"Okay, we'll go in order," May growled, "Someone go unplug Coulson and fill him in."

*********************************************************************************

The first destination, according to the list, was 1698. FitzSimmons insisted their child be born in alignment with with the birth of some scientific monument, despite the clear pain and anxiety that displayed itself on Simmons and Fitz, respectively.

"You sure we can't just find a hospital and take the kiddo after a few months?" Coulson asked, "Maybe lie about the story of his birth?"  
He helped Simmons into a chair, having just been debriefed on the situation at hand. Like everyone else on the ship, he thought FitzSimmons' request was a tad bit extreme. He laso, just like everybody else, he thought it was ridiculous. Fitz was working on the reactor's dials.

"We've been planning this for months, sir! We aren't going to let a premature birth stop us." He called.

In a instance they arrived, the cargo doors opening upon landing, revealing a sprawling Victoria-styled estate. Fitz dashed out before anyone could stop him to take a look. This seemed too primitive for what they were looking for. 

"Wait a second." He muttered.

In the courtyard, he saw a man tinkering away at a massive contraption, but it was not the one he had in mind.With a huff, he hustled back into the ship.

"Are we at the invention of the first steam engine?" Jemma groaned.

"Yes and no." Fitz replied.

He strided over to his control panel and started clicking away. 

"We went to the right place--the first steam engine--but we need a locomotive. They're just cooler, really." He stated.

He abruptly closed the cargo door, causing Sousa and Deke to scamper back in quickly, making it mere seconds before initiating a jump.

"Woah there, Turbo, where are we going?" Mack demanded.

'So reckless." Jemma thought wearily, "this child is going to have a Hell of a time here.'

"1925. There's a massive locomotive on display in Britain that we can see. It practically framed the stage of the steam engine industry." Fitz explained.

"You mean the Scotsman?" Sousa asked, "I got to see the thing once."

Jemma let a curse and a loud moan, inspiring Elena to dash off for more Motrin and whatever was left of Jemma's pregnancy-icecream stash. 

"Oh really? The papers said it was a beauty, engine and everything." Fitz replied, eyes alight.

'A wonderful spot.' He decided.

He relished a continued conversation with Sousa; talking shop always seemed to put him at ease, distracting him from his other problems.

They jumped back into the void and Fitz relocked the Zephyr's new location.

"Daisy, Yo-yo, please help me into the escape pod." Jemma instructed.

Sousa looked concerned.

"Why would we move her?" He asked.

The two women obeyed without question, tugging the pregnant scientists to her feet.

"Awhile back, Fitz tripped out the pod for a more portable travel." Coulson explained.

He was gathering water bottles and towels into a bag for departure.

"It also allows one to take more jumps with less fuel and well as provide comfortable space, given the situation." Enoch chimed in over the speakers.

"So it's like the T.A.R.D.I.S?" Sousa asked.

The team gave him a range of amused looks.

"What? Deke showed me 'Angels Take Manhattan' awhile back."

"Ugh, that little bastard would start you off on a major episode."

"Speaking of, should I try and radio Mr. Shaw again?" Enoch asked.

"Already tried. If he catches up, great. If he doesn't, he doesn't" May answered curtly.

The team piled in and blipped off in the pod and soon landed in a sunny square with a large throng of people. The pod was cloaked, so they were invisible to the world around them. Outside, a fairground stood, with small shops, games, and restaurants. The atmosphere buzzed with excitement.

"Ah, there it is!" Fitz practically squealed.

An enormous freight train stood in the center of the square, a beast of evergreen steel and solid brass. It was longer than a bus and probably weighed more than a ton. Sousa joined in in the squeal and the two ran out for a better look.

"We're going to have this baby by a train?" Daisy asked, "You okay with this, Jemma?"

Elena handed her a water bottle.

"Oh yes," Jemma said, waving her hand, "It's better than the invention of gunpowder. Besides, I'm pretty sure the walls are soundproof now."

It had unnerved her, besides the volume of the initial destination, the violent and dark history made her think of The Doctor. And Leopold The Doctor had been gone and she did not want him back. She shuddered.

"Not now." Jemma whispered to herself.

The other women decided to get Simmons more comfortable while Mack went to retrieve Fitz and Sousa. Jemma knew, however, could tell the mechanic was eager to check out the machine. Fitz wished Jemma could come explore the interior with him, maybe check out the engine room. She'd know exactly how it'd work.

'how are you, love?" He asked, ducking back in.

He took both her hands; she smiled.

"Not so bad. I think it'll happen in the next hour or so-"

WHAAAAAAAAAARRR

"What the Hell?" Daisy groaned.

WHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

"It's the goddamn freight!" Mack yelled over the noise.

Someone must have been testing the Scotsman's horn.

"I thought this was sound-proof now!" May questioned ZFitz.

"Sound-proof, not wailing-proof!" Fitz cried back.

WHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

"We can't have the baby here!" Jemma sobbed.

Fitz put his hands on his hips, overtly disappointed.

'Just fantastic...absolutely fantastic.' 

They had found a pleasant spot; perfect attraction, weather, everything. Maybe Jemma could hold it for a bit...

'No. Don't be selfish.' Fitz chided himself, 'We go where Jemma wants. She deserves it.'

She deserved the world, really, for trying again. How brave of her.

"Alright, I'm over it; next stop, 1941." Coulson declared.

He shut the exit close and began typing the coordinates.

"Oh, skip that one; it's the invention of the atom bomb. We'd be going to the initial test sight so it would be even louder." Fitz said glumly.

"Yes, I'm sure it would have been fascinating dear, if not for the parasite eating away at my energy inside me." jemma replied, sarcastically sweet.

The team stared at them.

"What's next?" Coulson finally asked.

"How about the discovery of the Sun as the center of the solar system? Or gravity?"

"Too novice...we'd be branded as heretics of the church if we went out."

"What about the discovery of DNA?"

"I like that...hey want about the launch of the Hubble telescope?"

"Fitz, do you really want the baby to just see more of space?"

"How about the invention of the first U-Boat?" 

The suggestion seemed to satisfy both of the couple, so they turned to May for approval.

She sighed and put her hands up.

"Hey, I'm not driving this thing, so have at it." She declared.

Fitz broke out into a grin and he turned back to the controllers, his fingers flying over the keypad.

"You'd think people would want their baby born somewhere nice, like a garden or a beach or something, but not these two clowns." Mack mumbled.

"Or at least a hospital." Elena added.

The pod hummed and soon they had appeared near an ocean. It was crystal clear and sunny, not a cloud or wave disrupting the endless spans of blue. The pod itself rocked back and forth gently with the motion of water; they had landed right on the surface of the ocean.

Fitz grimaced; it was wise of him to design this pod with a flotation ability.

"Um, Fitz, does this look like a beach to you?" Sousa asked, rocking back and forth with the waves.

Jemma immediately started turning green with nausea and beckoned for a trash bin.

"Oh, these are tile; I'm not cleaning the grout today so take close aim Simmons." Coulson said, coming to her rescue.

He hastily shoved the bin into her hands mere seconds before she hurled, Daisy holding back her hair.

"Are we on a boat?" Elena asked as she peered out one of the windows.

The water looked too high to be on a boat. Suddenly the floor beneath them shook.

"Son of a bitch." Mack whistled.

The pod rocked again as the German U-Boat they had landed on took another torpedo hit, throwing everyone to their knees.

"You took us to the Battle of the Atlantic?" Jemma practically screamed.

Fitz threw up his hands (partially in defeat and partially from another hit) and turned back to the controller to get them out of there. Meanwhile, Jemma let out another stream of vomit, spewing profanities with every breath she took. If they weren't facing death at the moment, she would have found herself quite comical.

"Okay, we're going to 1962 in Virginia, a landlocked state. No oceans!" Fitz announced.

"It was on the list." May mentioned, watching Simmons visibly relax.

"Oh, that's when Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and a whole army of colored women supergeniuses helped put John Glenn into orbit." Jemma said dreamily, "Imagine meeting them. Katherine was an absolute revolutionist for female scientists...I bet she's a lovely person."

Fitz nodded, eager with agreement. At this point, he'd do anything to make her happy, given all the failures he had just produced in the past hour. And, if not for her, at least the baby"s sake. Admittedly, the first miscarriage had occured due the a self-dignoision of high stress disorders, so he was doing his damndest to keep Jemma relaxed and at ease. It wasn't going well.

She deserved the world from him--she deserved so much better than him, really. Always making her suffer, always leaving her alone; he had left her and made her distrustful so many times, left her hurt or simply in violent tears. Fitz couldn't bear to keep doing that anymore.

'Be their protector; be her protector.'

"Fitz, quit daydreaming and get us out of here before Jemma's British ancestors tank this bad boy." Coulson barked, grabbing for a safety bar as Sousa and Daisy stumbling into each other.

They blipped out and soon appeared in what looked like a parking lot.

"There, better. We got land at least this time." Coulson said.

There were ominous thunderclouds surrounding the area, but at least it was blacktop and not the ocean floor.

"Oh, Fitz, dear, it's going to rain." Jemma moanned; the combination of drugs and pain was starting to make her flighty.

She was squeezing Daisy and Elena's hands awfully tight and was breathing heavy, little beads of sweat forming on her worry-creased forehead. A thunderclap erupted overhead.

"Nonsense; I'm going to find a way in." Fitz said stubbornly.

"Hey-ripples not waves!" Mack called to him.

Fitz scoffed. As if they had listened to that at all in the past seven months. He burst out of the exit as the sky begged to let loose.

"Fitz, come back here!" May cried.

The scientist ignored all their further pleas and kept stomping out through the empty visitors' lot.

'I'll find the best place. She deserves the best, the absolute best.' He kept repeating to himself.

Faintly, Jemma called out, "Leo, please. Come back."

But she knew he could not hear her. The room was so hot and the baby was starting to push its way out. Another moment later, she felt a dripping in her underwear and sweatpants. Her water had broken.

"Guys, we got a leak!" Daisy stated, grabbing towel a and helping Elena ease Jemma onto her back.

He loved her so much and tried so hard at everything to please her, even the smallest things. Was she ever grateful enough? Did she show him so, at least? He must have been as tired as she was, ther poor thing.

"Fitz! Water broke!" Sousa called out.

They all saw Fitz stop for a moment--a moment too long.

"Oh Dios mío! We're jumping!" Elena cried, noticing the countdown on the control panel.

Fitz began to run back at full speed.

'Why are we jumping?' His brain screamed.

He was sprinting now, but it was too late; the pod soon was surrounded by light and disappeared in an instance, leaving Fitz stranded. he stared dumbly at the empty space, not slowly get as soaked as he currently was. With a thud, he fell to his knees, face buried in his hands.

"Jemma! Jemma please!"

In the ned, everything he tried to do, he failed her. He always failed her.

Fitz sat on his knees, doubled over and sobbing into the ground, howling every thought that came to mind.

"I'm sorry to be so picky, I'm sorry to be so busy, I'm sorry to be so reckless and contemptuous and flippant and overall selfish. I"m sorry to leave you again as i always end up doing. Jemma I'm sorry and i love you, but you deserved so much more than my love!"

He sat in the parking lot for what felt like forever, his clothes slicked and his hair dripping. Would the rain ever stop? It was like a cruel omen, juts how his rgret over this would never stop.

He failed her. Once again, he had failed her.

"Jemma, I would get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness if I could." He said hoarsely.

The parking lot echoed all the times his plea was left unanswered.

"Please, Jemma. Please."

Suddenly, he heard what sounded like a plane landing.

"Hey Bobo, need a lift?"

**************************************************  
The team had landed in 1881, London by a little river.

"Oh, the London Museum of Natural History! How delightful!" Jemma chripped.

It was clear she was delirious from schock.

"Simmons, you're water broked." May said urgently.

"Did you know the museum wasn't even completed until the 1970s, where the Darwin Wing was finally installed?"

"Simmons, you're about to give birth!" Daisy said sternly, "Lie back down we are. doing this now."

She and Elena got her back down while May ordered the men out of the pod.

"Where's Leo?" Jemma whined.

Daisy and Elena held her hands as May shimmied her pants off and covered her with a towel.

"Bite." She instructed, holding out a washcloth to Simmons.

"Okay, ladies, deep breaths." Daisy whispered.

"May, can you get it out?"

"What do you mean? delivered a baby before!"

"Come on, it's like catching one of those futbols."

"Push, please, Jemma."

"Where's Fitz?"

"This is not like a football!"

"You're The Calvary, May; you can handle it!"

"He's always here when I need him."

May squatted down and squared up near Simmons legs, arms outstretched to make the grab as the scientist began to scream, completely disregarding the washcloth method.

""Push, Simmons!"

"Come on, that's it. Come to Melinda; come to The Calvary."

"Deep breaths, mija, deep breaths."

"Damn, that's a big head."

"Shut it, Daisy!"

"Almost out...almost out."

"Leo, please!"

The door slammed open and, with a lurch, May scooped up the newborn and swaddled it in as towel.

"Leo?"

Fitz, along with Deke, stood in the doorway, shocked and soaking.

I didn't know that's how babies were made." Deke mused, innocently in awe.

Fitz rushed to his wife and helped her sit up, hugging her tightly. Their bodies ached from the brief separation.

"Jemma, I love you." He whispered, "I love you and I will never leave you alone again."

"Oh, Fitz. Oh, Leo. I know; i love you too."

They stayed there for a moment, embracing while may rocked the infant gently back and forth, the rest of the women and Deke letting out a collective sigh of relief. Finally, FitzSimmons were parents. 

"I missed you, Gam-gam!" Deke said, descending on the couple for s group hug. They laughed and may handed Simmons the baby to hold, tears streaming from the scientists' eyes. 

The baby had been born by a river, where Jemma waited for her husband and Fitz sank down and cried out to heaven to see his love once more. They were inseparable, not matter the distance. Their greatest accomplishment, their joy; they had waited and created it together, brining it to life together. Truly, they were unbreakable.

Coulson, Mack, and Sousa finally peaked their heads into the pod. Mack letting out a low whistle.

"Um, guys, that's a boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to write the remaining chapters first and then type them out so thanks folks for being patient.


	6. When the Night is Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we finally find out where Deke has been this whole time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I'm still salty about how AoS ended for Deke; I wish he could have went with everybody but now there's the chance for Director Deke fanfics teehee. Also, this fanfic is loosely based-off the idea there's the OG Timeline (Series Finale Timeline) and this one I made where they go on adventures together still. Hope that clarifies any confusion.

One day, out of the blue, in the middle of the night, he took off. 

He didn't say goodbye, or let anyone know, or even write out a plan for himself. He just took off; packed the Quinjet, grabbed an Icer, and stored his location in Coulson; which he then deleted from the LMD's memory complex and rebooted. Nobody needed to know where he was going, really. It's not anyone would care or even have the time to pay attention.

The team was officially retired, having blown up Malick and the Chronicoms' forces like they did with every big-bad and gotten the chance to saunter off into their metaphorical sunset they always somehow managed to find. Big whoop. They had the potential of being stuck in 1983 with both him and Daisy blinking out of existence, but that didn't wasn't considered important now that the team was creating their own timeline, which should have eased Deke's nerves but it didn't; it only made them fester more.

Turns out, Fitz had disappeared and created Diane in order to hide a miscarriage. A miscarriage! He had been hiding his location, but the other secret was just too unbearable. He had hid this from everyone, including jemma to a degree. And he hid this from Deke, which he did not appreciate. Shouldn't he know that his mother hadn't lasted even four months in the womb? He could have disappeared at any moment and he would have never known why. Plus, this brought in a new question: did Deke even have parents anymore? He probably wasn't related to FitzSimmons anymore, which made his place on the team even cloudier. Logically speaking, there had to be at least one reality where Deke has two living and happy parents, so he made a plan. 

The first year of his quest, Deke ignored contact with the team, rejecting the onslaught of recordings and messages. Same happened with the second, the third, the fourth, fifth and even sixth years. No contact ment no distractions. By year seven, Deke detached the the transmitter for some reason, rendering him completely isolated. He knew that if he answered any messages, the team could track him and stop him in his tracks. Miracuously, all communication stopped from their side by the eighth year of his journey, which made them sad. Why did they hold out so long and stop trying then? Maybe they were past his existence, moving onto the next thing at hand. Besides, that's what he wanted, right? Total and absolute isolation.

Occasionally, he got a few codes from a surprisingly alive Enoch, which he only could assume was repurposed as an A.I or something of smaller use. Perhaps Fitz had done so in his spare time. It was nice to get updates; made him still feel like part of something.

Deke sat in the cockpit, a turkey sandwich from C-127 in his hand. Outside the window loomed Earth A-139, which was only three off the original timeline's Earth. This was the two hundredth reality he had visited so far, and was looking like one of the last, according to his fuel gauge. He might not even have enough juice to get back to the Zephyr. Deke gnawed at his sandwich and kicked his feet up.

'It is what it is.' He decided, somewhat bitter.

Had he really been doing this for almost a decade? It didn't surprise him; time was quite irrelevant when you jumped so much; his years could have been mere weeks or months for the team depending on their whereabouts. Time was just as irrelevant as he was.

Deke finished his meal. Time to descend. He reached for the stereo he had stolen from Daisy and pressed 'play'. "Immigrant Song" came blasting through and he smiled.

"Daisy would kill me if she found out." He chuckled.

If she still remembered him, that is. She recently had been too busy making mooneyes at Sousa to acknowledge him anymore. That wasn't hard to leave behind, really. He may not have loved her, but he admired her and admittedly pinned over her for a good portion of time. Maybe it was best he was gone; clearly the connection he had felt was only one-sided. besides, they had their own priorities now; she didn't need to see her parents while that was the one that seemed to still motivate Deke.

A code popped up, reading 'BABY'.

'The Hell?' Deke mused, sliding away the notification.

If it was important, Enoch would try to sync to the Quinjet and tell him. He switched the jumper to its teleportation module and set in coordinates. So far, every timeline he had visited had his parents out living in Main, which he could only suppose was in coherence with British weather. Deke popped in an address and prepared for for the jump. All timelines he had visited also left his parents absent, either having died, moved, or simply did not have him in their lives. The worst ones were he had died as child or been put up for adoption, which was too realistic considering his previous life. They were the hardest trips; seeing his mother and father cry over him.

"Deke Shaw, come in." Enoch's voice filled the jet.

Looks like he was able to sync. Whether or not they could track him was another question.

"What?" Deke snapped.

"We need you to return immediately. It is a pressing matter at hand."

"Can't Enoch. I'm busy right now." Was the curt reply.

Deke reached to shut off the call.

"Deke Shaw, this is urgent! Simmons is-"

Off. They could wait. It's not like his original self was waiting back for them in 1993.

Normally, Deke would receive single-worded messages from Enoch, a sentence if he was lucky. The most occuring was the question 'LONELY?'. As if a robot knew anything about loneliness.

Outside, rapid light passed the Quinjet as it passed through the atmosphere. 

Even though this was roughly the two hundredth time he'd done this, Deke couldn't help feeling a little anxious. He had so many questions: were there still VCRs? Were flying cars finally? How many copies of "Deke Squad: Endless Journey" ended up being sold? The most important question of course, was if his parents would be happy to see him.

In the twilight, Deke saw a sprawl of cookie-cutter suburban houses and barns neatly clustered by the bay. His parents typically lived off secluded on the coast, on a hill in a dock house. Funny enough, Deke had always pictured them as fishermen, alone with their pastime and content with just each other. It suited his grandparents as well. Gently, he touched down in a field of silverfeed and scanned the area, A lone house sat, as predicted, up on a cliff near the edge of the Atlantic, smoke billowing from its chimney.

"This is it." He said aloud.

He didn't even know what year it was or what month or even what day of the week, but he was certain this time was the one. It had to be.

"Deke Shaw, come in." Deke's earpiece shrieked.

He didn't even hesitate to turn it off. No distractions. Cautiously, he he knocked on the door handle and took a step back. Maybe he should have brought a gift, like flowers or cookies. Or at least worn something nicer than his tactical gear. Or maybe combed his hair. Too late; the door clicked open. Deke straightened his back and shoved his hands into his pockets, tilting his chin upwards. Slowly, the door opened.

"Honey, there's a young man at the door! Is he one of your boat hands?" An elderly woman, probably no bigger than a twig, answered the door and called inside.

"No, Louise, maybe the grocery boy?" Am na's voice responded from within.

Deke could feel himself trembling; there was no way he could have screwed up again. They had to recognize him!

"What's your name, love?" The woman-Louise-asked him.

"Um I'm...I'm...just passing by." Deke managed to stammer, "I was wondering if-"

"Bring the boy in, dear! He can eat dinner with us." The man's voice bellowed.

Before he could protest, Louise was dragging Deke by the arm into their house, which, by the looks of it, was quaint and tidy, with quirky wallpaper and knick-knacks emorating a grandparent-like aora. There even was a cuckoo clock.

"Henry, can you set the table? I'm sure our guest is starving."

The man named Henry nodded as his wife disappeared into the kitchen, pulling a seat out for Deke to take. 

"You just have a seat, son, we'll be with you in a bit."

Son; he had called Deke son. The warmth flooding Deke was almost too much to bare. He knew--he just knew--this was it. The couple soon brought out the biggest lobster he had ever seen. They stay down, radiating a welcoming presence and an almost witty look about them.

"So where are you from?" Henry asked, dipping a chunk of lobster meat in a bowl of butter.

Deke watched meticulously and did the same.

"Oh, not from here. Far...out in the country." He replied.

"Oh, I bet you're one of those lobbyist kids out West." Louise said, "They're so kind-hearted and civil."

Deke nodded and stared at his lobster. He had never had anything so amazing before. The couple then gazed at him strangely.

"You alright, son?"

Deke felt his cheeks flush.

"Sorry, sir. They didn't have these things out where I used to live." He replied sheepishly, "Hell, they don't even have butter out there."

The couple laughed.

"Oh, chickpea, they gotta have lobster out West! I know we're known for the best but surely they got it out there too."

"Well, give it a try." Henry encouraged.

Deke smiled and took the clump of flesh on his fork into his mouth, a bit of butter dribbling on his lip. Never had he eaten anything so sweet! It was incredible and the look on his parents' faces were priceless as they watched him. A thought then occurred: this was the first time Deke had ever eaten a meal with his parents. It was his first home-cooked meal. The realization was enough to bring tears; which, it did, right in front of the couple.

"Oh, dear, it's okay! No reason to cry over seafood." Louise soothed, handing him a napkin.

"Was my cooking that bad?" Henry joked.

Deke shook his head and wiped his eyes. So much as for discreet.

"No, no. The food is wonderful. I just haven't been home in awhile. " He explained, blowing his nose on the napkin.

"Well, I imagine good food is hard to come by when you're time travelling all the time."

Louise pushed the vegetable try she made closer to Deke., who froze mid-grab.

"What?"

Henry winked sat him.

"You forgot to cloak your Quinjet." He said.

Deke turned his to look out the window; sure enough, there was the jet, completely visible among the sea of flowers. He hadn't even turned the lights of in it.

'Dammit.'

"So, where are you from really?" Henry pried.

He had an intelligent look in his eyes that made Deke feel at home. They were his parents--he could tell them.

"I'm from the year 2091, where I grew up on a Kree slave ship with no living parents. I am also technically from the years 20128, where a government organization called S.H.I.E.L.D asked me to be a part of their team." 

He waited for their response.

"We had family in S.H.I.E.L.D not too long ago," Henry mused, "You might know them."

Deke smiled; he knew them quite well.

"Who were they?" He heard himself ask.

LOuise took a sip from her cola bottle.

"Oh yeah, Henry's parents were both scientists during the agency's revival period. Helped with tons of groundwork." She replied.

Wait. That didn't make sense.

"But your parents are Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons, right?"

The couple laughed.

"Son, those were my parents," He explained, "Real geniuses, they were. Told me loads of stories about their work. How do you know them?"

"Because they're my grandparents."

The room became thoughtfully quiet.

"Deke?" Louise asked.

Deke Shaw nodded. Every atom, every nerve in his body was vibrating in anticipation.

"Oh, honey, come here." 

Deke had waited almost lifetime to feel their embrace again; two hundred-plus journeys and he really did manage to find the right one. It could only be described as a miracle.

"Oh, Deke, what a gift to have you back in our lives."

********************************************************************************************

Deke spent the rest of the evening laughing and catching up with his parents, swapping stories of FitzSimmons and sharing memories from the team. Apparently, the reality he was visiting had Deke as a temporary Director of Tech at the new S.H.I.E.L.D formation; it was currently 2087. Overall, the night proved fruitful of his endeavours and he was more than excited to tell the rest his news. Ironically, as soon as he thought this, deke received a code from Enoch again, who must have hacked into his wristwatch. Louise and Henry were laughing about a monkey Fitz apparently had always wanted.

'FITZ. VIRGINIA, 1962. SOS.'

Enoch, despite all his nprying, never sent Deke coordinates. Something serious must be up. 

"Mom, Dad, I think I have to go. The team needs me." He said abruptly. 

Henry and Louise nodded; they understood the job.

"To save their silly arses, I bet." Henry said slyly.

Deke smiled; he must have always known, then. 

"thank you for everything. You have no idea how much this night has meant to me." Deke said, hugging both parents one last time. 

"Oh, love, you stop by anytime you feel like it. You'll always have a home here."

"I love you guys...can I take some lobster with me? I have a feeling someone might be needing it."

*********************************************************************************

"I don't see him, Enoch."

Deke had never in his life flown through such treacherous rain; it was almost impossible to see it was so intense.

"He is here, Deke, and we must quickly return him to Simmons; she is about to give birth to your father." Enoch replied.

Deke flew even lower, squinting out into the downpour. No Fitz.

"Hey, why'd you always ask me if I was lonely?" Deke asked suddenly; the topic had been bothering him.

"Because it is a lonely experience when you are not surrounded by your loved ones."

He had a point; maybe he had been a bit harsh on everyone lately. Maybe he had been a bit lonely on his quest, too. But he always had felt lonely; life with the Kree allowed for few companions and at S.H.I.E.L.D he felt awfully misplaced because of the massive generation gap. No matter how kind they were, he was also a man out of time, just like Sousa. Was that why he always sought out Daisy? Because they were both misfits, both trying to find themselves in a world different from them? 

Deke sighed. All this pinning had to stop. He needed to be himself, apart from her. He needed to just be Deke Shaw. Besides, it made him just as happy that she finally found the one with Sousa. That was enough for him.

Deke needed to be himself. And, he needed to find his Bobo sohe could reunite him with his Gamgam so they could give birth together to his father. That was where he was needed because he was not lonely when he was with the team; his family, who loved and cared for him just as much as any parent would. They needed him.

"Thanks, enoch." He whispered.

The thermal receptor was picking up something in Lot C, just off to the right.

"I believe we have found Leopold." Enoch announced.

'Oh Hell yes! Don't worry, Bobo, I'm coming for you!"

Deke steering the Quinjet violently to where the small human popped up on their screen, the figure coming closer ands closer into their actual view.

"Deke, you're going to overheat the engine like this! The velocity and angle you're taking is too hazardous."

"No, we must gert Fitz to Simmons!"

"We can jump to any point in time; there is no need to be so reckless!"

"Now is the perfect time to be reckless!"

The jet careened down to the blacktop next to a parked bus, barely missing a startled Fitz. Deke smashed the cargo door open and sprinted out, getting drenched instantly.

"Hey, Bobo, need a lift?"

Fitz turned to him in surprise, rising from his knees.

"Oh, you bloody bastard, am I glad to see you!" He cried, running to his grandson.

The two men embraced, both laughing and crying, in the thunderstruck world.

"Fitz, I met them. I really met them." Deke said, breathless.

Fitz nodded into his shoulder.

"Was she what you remembered?" He asked.

Deke paused. Should he tell him, or let him find out?

"They were wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I had lobster for the first time, too!"

Fitz laughed, throwing his head back.

'Oh how I missed that laugh.' Deke realized, 'He and Jemma probably have had a blast together...'

"Fitz; we gotta go!"

"Oh, right. Right we gotta go now!"

They took off through the rain back into the Quinjet. It was time to return to the team.

******************************************************************************************************  
"Argh, mija, just push!"

"Can't you do anything, May?"

"I'm trained to fly planes and kick ass; delivering a baby is not in my resume."

"Where's Leopold?"

The Quinjet burst through a thankfully sunny sky and clumsily landed a few meters away from the pod, Fitz and Deke scrambling out the moment it touched down.

"Did we miss it?" Deke demanded as they ran past Coulson and the other men.

The trio was idoling next to the edge of a river.

"You're just in time, guys." Mack said. 

Deke exchaled while Fitz let out a sigh of relief.

"Go in, go in, but just be--" They slammed the door open. "--quiet."

The two peaked in, expecting to see Simmons. Instead they were met with a far more comical sight; Elnea pinning Jemma by the arms while Daisy held her legs open, May squatting down like a pshe was about to receive the game-winning hand-off. In her arms was a bundle of towels.

"I didn't know that how babies were made." Deke said, awestruck.

Fitz smacked him upside the head and scowled, gingerly taking the newborn from May and into his own arms. He then gave it to Jemma. Immediately, they embraced themselves around the infant, crying and declaring their love for each other. It was truly touching. Somewhere deep inside Deke felt his heart burst with love. 

This, this moment right here with these people--this was family to him. These people loved him no matter what and he wouldn't trade anything in the world for it, even a life with his parents. He knelt to hug both of his grandparents.

"I love you two." He whispered.

The pod glowed with happiness as the other agents filled in to meet the newest member of the team.

"Where have you been, bud?" Daisy asked, slapping Deke on the back as he stood.

Deke shrugged; there was no rift between them at all.

"The best place in the world for lobster. Which reminds me; Jemma i brought you back leftovers from Mom and Dad's."

He'd fill them in on his journey later. For now, it was Fitz Simmons' moment. Mack gave him a look as if he was going to say something, but his attention went elsewhere.

"Guys, that's a boy."

Deke grinned; his father, even as an infant, held the same earnest and intelligent look in his wide eyes.

"Well, then, let's name him Henry." Jemma said.

Fitz beammed at the idea and kissed the baby lightly.

"Henry; we have a son named Henry."

Deke then got a chance to hold the baby, letting him cling to his thumb and drool on him.

'I love you...I love you already.' He decided, 'And though I cannot tell you, you'll be one of the greatest gifts in my life.'

All the times he had felt out of place, or had been lonely, Deke believed that he could only help himself. It was always Deke Shaw and non one else. But now, holding new life in his hands, he realized that he never truly was alone. The very fact that the team didn't question his whereabouts but supported his decision proved that he never really was lonely in the first place.

"Good to have you back, Deke." Coulson said, giving him a all-too-knowing shoulder squeeze.

Perhaps the reprogramming hadn't worked after all. 

"Where are we, anyways?" Deke asked.

"The London Museum of Natural History; it's 1880 so it hasn't opened yet." Simmons clarified.

She reached out for Henry, who Deke returned immediately. It was so nice to see her happy again.

"Oh like 'Secret of the Tomb'?" He asked.

"What's that?"

"Y'know, the third 'Night at the Museum' movie? Cult Christmas classic? Family-friendly yet hilarious for the mature audience?

Mack barked out a laugh.

"The only thing to watch on Christmas is 'The Godfather', Other Turbo." He replied, That's what you should be watching for the holidays."

"Or, you know, an actual Christmas movie like normal people." Daisy retorted.

The team all burst out in to a collective and relieved laughter, merely enjoying the view of the river and twilight sun. Then, May spoke up, slimy and a tad bit peeved.

"As lovely as this all is, I'm covered in placenta and and smell like a hospital. Can we please go to my turn next; we have others to pick up so we better get moving."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is May...then a surprise guest.
> 
> Also, the next two chapters will be shorter (these last few were real doozies) because I'm trying to jump back to my other project.
> 
> P.S~ I hope someone can guess what "Henry" is named after :3


	7. The Balancer's Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that May is finally taking a break, she has time to process the undeniable change in her as well as how she feels about Coulson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for sticking with this! It's gone through a lot of renovation but i feel it does our beloved heroes some justice; I truly am going to miss them all and hope to goodness S.W.O.R.D brings back a few of them.

Tahiti in 1993 was absolutely beautiful in the summertime.

Small crowds, clear skies, all the pinã coladas she could drink; it was a gift. It was also a gift to see the team relax for a change. 

Melinda had picked this place for the sole purpose of such relaxation; FitzSimmons playing with Henry, making sand castles and explaining crustacean biology to him, Mack and Elena on their official honeymoon, Daisy and Sousa huddled over a portable DVD player they had found. It made May happy. Even watching Deke, who was frolicking around and playing football with Tripp, Hunter, and Bobbi made her smile. She was so glad to have gone and picked them up, even if they could only stay for a week. 

Truly, this time-off was a gift. 

Tracking down Bobbi and Hunter hadn't been too difficult; the team simply jumped back to the bar they had last seen them, where the pair willingly joined them. Overall, the couple was very enthusiastic about the whole thing. Tripp, on the other hand, took some searching. After his death in their original timeline, he appeared to have died in most other realities, never knowing of S.H.I.E.L.D or the team. However, they had found him in a reality where Inhumans did not exist--he was the curator for a Howling Commandos memorial museum. Both had been tearful reunions and had resulted in the collective decision to take a "family" vacation, May's treat. 

The journey to find them had taken roughly three years to get around to, with FitzSimmons requesting time for Henry to mature a bit and Mack and Elena picking a place to have their wedding (Bogota, to no one's surprise). But, this allowed May some time to herself. She had destinations too; she needed one more conversation with her mother. 

May had taken the Quinjet and went to 2018, before all this space bullshit had occurred, and had found the little Chinese woman in Chinatown, playing Mahjong with some other elderly women. Her mother didn't look surprised at all when May had appeared, tired and smelling of reactor fluid. Instead, she had let her game table, ordered a bottle of Chinese whiskey for the two of them, and had the first drink with her daughter in years. They didn't talk of much, only arbitrary things like gossip and politics. Her mother had informed her of the will she was writing, which didn't shock May at all. Her mother was always a pre-planner in that sort of sense. It was only fitting they'd be hashing out family business as their last conversation; a year later, May returned to visit but   
instead was met with a tidy grave. At least they had ended on good terms.

May had another solo mission, this time to see her ex-husband, Andrew. The journey was more so out of closure, hoping to find him human and with someone who could make him fully happy. Instead, most timelines she visited had them together, as if years of dedicated work never tore them apart. He never left her, never died a martyr's death. It satisfied her and yet for some reason also made her feel guilty. How could she make him--or anyone--happy? 

She took a long sip from her coconut and readjusted her sunhat.

In front of her little patch of shade, Fitz chased after Henry with a water gun while Bobbi and Hunter were making out on the beach's edge, Deke and Tripp making gagging faces at them. So much joy and love--May could feel it all. That was the beauty of her new power, which Coulson now called "The Magic Touch": she could live the happiness of her family. It made her feel better knowing that, after all the shit they had been through, the team could still value spending time together. She loved that they loved each other, shared happiness and heartache, even looked out for each other still to this day.

It also pained Melinda how invasive she had now become; it was as if she could never ditch her spying profession nor stop snooping on the people around her. And worse was Coulson, who had recently been reprogrammed 'accidentally' by Deke again to "better express emotions for Henry". He gave intense emotional energy now, it was all so overwhelming!

But May smiled in spite of herself. Phil Coulson always wanted to have kids. At the start of their journey, he had confided that he always wanted to be the cool uncle for whatever offspring FitzSimmons produced. He would have been a natural.

If only they weren't in this reality.

They could have met at a bar or a park like normal people, went on dates and gone dancing, travelled to far-off places but flying business not on a plane that was their home and designed to fly as far as space. She wished they could build a family, own a grounded home, or at least a car without a government insignia engraved permanently on its doors. She wished...

May sat up.

It didn't matter what she wished. Nor what she missed. This Phil Coulson was a machine; a highly sentient program of the same make and model that tried to kill them by trapping them in a dream-world nightmare years ago. He wasn't the Phil Coulson she loved, nor the Coulson she shared memories with. It wasn't the Coulson she had shared her life with. Yet, her memories were flowing in his hard drive as if he was the original flesh and blood. It was too strange.

She craned her neck to see if the LMD was anywhere around.

'Probably charging.' May decided.

She suddenly had the urge to go find him. Elegantly folding the fan she was using, Melinda rose and glided across the sand over to the parked plane,which was cloaked except for the open cargo door. Walking in, she gently caressed the remake of Lola.

'Maybe I'll be able to read cars someday.' She thought sarcastically.

The lab, where the LMD was usually charged, was vacant, so Coulson must have been somewhere else in the Zephyr. She checked the lounge. Nothing. Her next stop was the plane's cockpit, where she found Coulson, his back facing her as he peered outside. He had a Hawaiian shirt and a laughably outrageous pair of shorts on.

"Bird-watching?" May quipped.

Coulson turned, unfazed, and spread out his arms.

"How do I look? Hip enough?" He asked.

He had little flamingo-shaped sunglasses on and a Baywatch tank top underneath the shirt.

"Oh, very nineties, Phil, really blending in." May replied.

Hwe smiled.

"Thanks; Enoch helped me pick it out."

"I did my best to locate the 'trendiest' clothes of the decade." The A.I added.

May nodded; some things never really change.

"Can we talk?" Coulson asked.

May nodded again, although a bit surprised.

"Sure." She said, sitting in the pilot's seat.

Coulson leaned against the co-pilot chair.

"I realize that we are on vacation and that heavy topics might not be welcomed, but I cannot help revisiting memories you and...and the real PHil Coulson have together. They're in me and I just can't ignore them anymore." He said.

May sighed.

"It's really not that big of a deal."

She had no desire to talk to a robot about her feelings.

"Actually, it is, sort of." Coulson rebuked, "Because I don't want this barrier between us anymore."

He took off his goofy sunglasses and folded them meticulously. May, watching him, couldn't suppress the smallest twinge of guilt from him. Maybe she could feel his feelings, after all.

"There is no barrier between us." May replied in a short voice.

Coulson shook his head, making his straw hat sway comically.

"May, we haven't treated each other as we should. I don't want to lose that connection that the real Coulson--that I--valued. I get that you two had something, something long overdue and short-lived and that you've had to say goodbye way too many times. But I'm telling you that I am not hear to take that away."

May now was feeling sadness; she had been cold to him, ignoring him and avoiding him at every chance she got. She felt bad, but a part of her wanted a barrier. This wasn't the same man (or a man at all, really) she loved and cherished so why should she treat him as any more than what he was; a copy, an imposter, really. It wasn't Coulson; he was not the same.

'But none of us are the same.' May realized.

The team had grown and evolved dozens of times, including her. This Coulson wasn't the same flesh and blood, but he was made up of all that they themselves and all of them cherished most; their memories, their love, and their experience as a family again. This Coulson was just as good. He shared this family with May, after all. Surely, that was enough.

May stopped staring out the window and met his patient gaze. She could sense hope from him.

"I know I cannot be the same as we were when I was alive--honestly you don't give me the 'unlikely romance with an android' type of vibe--but we can still care about each other. As friends, at least." Coulson replied.

"Yes, I agree." May finally said.

She wished she could feel something; relief, ease, reassurance--they were all radiating off the LMD at a startling rate. May probably felt the same, but she didn't know; in fact, she felt just vulnerable. She should be feeling all the things he was feeling right now. May lightly touched her shoulder. Nothing.

"Melinda, I know we've changed," Coulson said, "But that shouldn't stop us from loving each other."

There was a pause.

"Not in a sexual way; again, I know robots aren't your type." 

May let out a genuine laugh. No matter what, he always had a sense of humor. Coulson smiled his off-kilter grin and gave her hands a squeeze.

"Different is okay."

Yes, but she couldn't be different. May had always been there enforcer, the grounded one, the person reigning in everyone else when they were in disarray. Her role was The Calvary, not thisc prissy, emotion-invading creature she had become. It felt like a demotion of sorts.

"Alright, it's my turn to watch Henry so FitzSimmons can read or watch whatever documentary they wanted to see. See you out there!" Coulson said, dashing out excitedly.

A few seconds later and he was playfully stomping around with the toddler. 

"You shouldn't feel so despondent, Agent May." Enoch's voice came through the speakers.

"And why is that?"

"Because you still are feeling human emotions; you just feel them from others more intensely than you do from yourself."

It made some sense, so she touched her collarbone--a slight wave of realization flowed through ehr fingertips and pinged off the nerves in her brain.

"I see you understand, then." Enoch said.

May did; she concentrated on herself this time, not others, and a wave of bottled emotions flew over her. It almost brought Melinda May to her knees.

"Agent May, if there is one thing I've learned about humans, it's that you must be willing to confront your own thoughts--your own questions, if you would." Enoch continued, "We've all grown from our experiences, so it's okay to be different than we used to be."

Enoch was right; the team had grown and sometimes shranks, changing with every events, but that never was the point. Regardless of their own individual change, they all always retained a love for eachother. And she felt that love; she felt all of it! All that joy, sorrow, dependence; all of it was flowing into her like a wave of truth. They no longer were agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, or agents at all, really, but they were something more; a family. And that was far more important.

'Thank you, Enoch." May whispered.

How much he had done for her and the other, she'd never know. It was almost like he was their guide, leading them through this new phase of life just like he had before. May gazed out the cockpit window again, watching Dasiy try her best to help Sousa stand on a boogie board in the shallows. The others were paired off as usual; Mack and Elena sunbathing with Bobbi and Hunter on folding chairs, Tripp and Deke playing catch, FitzSimmons exuberantly chatting out a video they were watching. Then there was Coulson, sitting with little Henry, pointing out seashells and giggling.

May stood. It was time to go join them.

How long they had all craved peace, how long they have all wanted to take the play and relax, rest and be a family, she could only imagine. That was her dream too, anyways.

She ran down the stairs, out the cargo door, and back onto the warm sand. It smelled like island paradise and heaven. She paced over to where Coulson and Henry were.

"Auntie May! Hi Auntie May!" The toddler squealed.

'I like that.' She decided.

A smile, then an immense wave of joy.

This was the happiness she had been looking for her, surrounding her the whole time. And damn did it feel good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I love May and am going to miss her so much T_T but at least she got a little beach vacation. Like I said; surprise guest next chapter and boy is it going to be a fun one.


	8. Never Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grant Ward was left in the void, destined to watch and never to see her again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was really sad we only got a throw-away line about Ward this season, so I wanted to know what he's been up too. He's a bit in shambles, to say the least. Also salty we got no Bobbi/Hunter nor any Tripp, but that's why we write fanfics.
> 
> Also this is my first piece in 'Rich Text' (which I never knew existed until I accidently clicked on it) so yay!

_I died and now I am what they call a Watcher._

_I've been sitting on this damn rock, feet dangling over a void, watching others live their lives while I cannot. It's cold and dark and sometimes there's other...things that come and watch others with me. They tall and silent and have galaxies in their eyes._

_Horrible._

_Do I have galaxies in my eyes?_

_My eyes used to be calculated, refined, even cold. Then mavelent. And also misguiding. Then like galaxies._

_I have stared at all the galaxies, all the realities possible, in hopes of finding her. In hopes of maybe finding all of them._

_How long I have searched, finally tracking them down. Oh, what joy to see my team again; they've all grown so much since I've been gone. The new members only can last so long; they are of no importance to me. I only care about my team. The original team. The 'Dirty Half Dozen', if you will. How well they've grown up._

_May seems radiant and open, Coulson seems a little more hardwired. Damn bastard put a whole in me; at least he stood up for me. How touching it was for him to stand up for me. He knew none of this was my fault. I was a victim too, s mere pawn for others._

_I never was allowed to make my own calls. Maybe he finally realized that._

_May never will; neither will those pretty, little scientists. Oh, my how they've grown. The wedding was absolutely beautiful and that child, that little monkey, well he seems just like them; precious beyond compare. I could watch them play all day. What a man Leo has become and what a woman Jemma has blossomed into. Feels like just yesterday I was saving their asses, throwing out sandwiches and jumping out of planes for them._

_But her; yes, her. My Skye. She is glorious, oh so stunning._

_Out of all the realities I get to see, my favorite is where she ends up with that old S.S.R agent, the millitary man. He seems capable. Certainly more than that scrawny, little weirdo or the guy with the lightning bolts._

_Oh, Skye, i will find you one day._

_Yes, all my days are filled with mourning; all my nights are empty.I just stare off into space, searching for her eyes in a never-ending sky. Skye, leave me where I lie._

_You left me bleeding once; maybe after all this time you can forgive me. I was only a pawn; I was a victim too._

_Skye, I don't care if I live or die, not if you can't forgive me. If the team can't forgive, I can tolerate that._

_But you, Skye, you're a conjured lie; a figment of my mind. Baby, I don't mind. Not at all._

_I'd kill your friends and family, your lovers even, just to see you again. I would even kill you, though I know that is quite impossible. I'd kill you to bring your here with me, so we can be together finally._

_You were taken from me!_

_I feel a fading, an ebbing from my soul. Am I ever going to be allowed off this fucking rock?_

_It's always so cold and silent and it laughs at me._

_The rock laughs at me._

_I stare out into the void, Skye, and I wonder if your forgiveness is what will set me free. The Watchers, they never speak to me; it's so lonely out here!_

_So, so lonely._

_Once, just once, they asked me: 'Is there someone out there you love?'_

_Yes, I tell them. I will never, ever love another one the way I loved her, if I ever learn to love again. I wait until the end. Because I don't where; I don't knwo when, but maybe I'm going to see her again._

_Skye, I will see you again...I got to see you again._

_I stare down past my dangling feet. The void looks like a vibrant nebula, a collision of blue and white and orange stars in my eyes._

_My eyes are made of galaxies because they only see galaxies._

_My eyes have galaxies in them._

_I have been searching for a reality where Skye needs me. And when I find it, I will drop down. I will wake her in the morning._

_I will wake her in the morning...if I just jump now, maybe I will find her._

_I stand._

_Skye, I will find you. I will, I will._

_My head is dizzy; I peer over. My head is dizzy, dizzy with stars and time._

_"I will wake her in the morning...I will wake her in the morning..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ward's chapter is really what inspired me to make this a whole story and I probably played "Never Ever" over a hundred times writing this fic.
> 
> One last thank you to Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D" for giving me (and so many more) the heroes we needed. They carried through my adolescence and I'm going to miss them very much. Here's to a spy's (hopefully not final) goodbye!

**Author's Note:**

> This originally was just a one-shot but I felt a full-out chapter fanfic would give us all the happy endings we deserved from this show. This fanfic in particular was written/edited to Lord Huron's "Vide Noir" (2018).
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome!


End file.
